When Superman's Cape Gets Torn

There's been lots of talk lately about heroes. Not so much super heroes, like Marvel or DC, but everyday people that have become heroes simply by being who they are & by doing what they do. Most of them would argue passionately that they aren't doing anything special & they certainly aren't heroes.

That's part of what makes a hero even more special.

My opinion of heroes has changed over time but a few have remained through it all.

My entire life, I have been a daddy's girl. My daddy has always been a steady rock during the storms of life. He has never met a stranger & he will strike up a conversation with anyone. I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen my daddy angry & I only know of two occasions that a curse words has been uttered from his lips (it had to do with an animal pooping where it shouldn't). He hardly ever missed anything that was important in my life & he continues to support his grandchildren at the majority of their events as well. He was always ready to offer a helping hand to anyone in need. And he still kisses my forehead every time I see him.

My daddy is my hero.

He's better than superman, because he is real & he is mine!

When I was in college, we would go out & people would question if I was his wife. He has always looked young. It wasn't until after my daddy turned 60 that I started noticing he was looking more his age. That was the first time I realized he wouldn't be with me forever. That's a hard thing to deal with.

I talked to him today & he dropped a bombshell on me. He has been diagnosed with Leukemia. He found out in September but because it is considered "low grade", he didn't tell me. He didn't want to worry me. There wasn't any treatment that they wanted to start or any medicine to take so he kept it to himself.

Then about a month ago, he started getting really short of breath. He couldn't go & do like he was used to without getting very tired. He started swelling & he knew something wasn't right.

After numerous doctor's visits, X-rays, CT scans, & ultrasounds, they discovered that he has blood clots in his lungs. This is coming from the Leukemia. He has an upcoming appointment with his oncologist to talk about what to do next.

I feel like I have been punched in the stomach & the rug has been ripped out from underneath me.

I understand that we aren't at the dreaded level that so many others are, but I'm very concerned. My heart hurts at the thoughts of losing my daddy. My head hurts trying to come to terms with this.

We could all really use your prayers right now.

What Day Is It

The days are starting to run together. Without an actual schedule to keep, its hard to remember if its Thursday or if its the 3rd Monday we've had this week.

Some weeks feel like that, Monday, after Monday, after Monday.

It feels like we are on  repeat, school, supper, family time, snacks, bonfires, snacks, naps, take the dog out, snacks, late bed times, binging Netflix & TikTok, snacks, over & over again.

I love spending time with my family, but I thrive on a schedule, on predictability, on organized chaos. I like being busy, having somewhere to go, having something to do. Being NEEDED!

Right now, I feel useless. And tired!

I know my children need me. I know my husband depends on me. But I miss my kids at school! I miss being a part of their lives! I miss supporting them at sporting events! I miss my the teachers, the office ladies, I miss the principals, I miss the custodians, I miss the lunch ladies! I miss adult interaction! I miss the easy camaraderie I have developed with my usual schools.

I'm trying to keep it together, but some days are so much harder than others!

Those weeks that have 3 Mondays, yeah, those are hard.

My emotions are all over the place! I'm sad, confused, concerned. I'm hopeful. I'm disappointed, angry, & frustrated.

I get aggravated at my kids, at the dog, at my husband.

I'm sleep deprived! I've not had a peaceful night's sleep since all this mess started.

I'm bored. I'm tired of reading, social media, & TV.

I cry at random things & for absolutely no reason.

I want to scream. I want to throw things.

I want to return to normal. I want to go back to a time when Covid 19 didn't exist & didn't change the whole world. I want to be needed again! I want to make a difference!

I know that God has a plan & I'm trying really hard to hold to that! I'm trying to just be still, to find peace in this storm, & to let Him carry us through to the next step in His plan!

But some days are hard!  When the days run on together, it seems harder.

Is it Monday ... Again?

Blessing Ninja

I've always liked ninjas, haven't you?

They wear all black, have really fancy gadgets, usually come with cool theme music, & know how to take care of business. Most of the time they get in & get out without batting an eye or without someone else knowing, except for the occasional fight, but that's not important right now.

There's several "Blessing" groups on Facebook right now. The idea is to make a wish list of stuff you want or need from Amazon & then someone else buys it for you. You in turn, buy for other people as well. Kinda like an ongoing online shower. The concept is really neat & I'm a part of a couple of them. We also play online games, offer prayer requests, & get to know new people.

Let's be honest, most of the things on the lists are wants, not needs, & that's fine. Sometimes you NEED a few wants, it keeps us feeling normal. Lord knows we need normal right now.

I have nothing against these groups! They are bringing hope to weary mommas, smiles to children who have missed out of birthday parties, supplies for teachers trying to prepare for when they return to their classrooms, necessities for college kids looking forward to a new adventure, snacks & crafts to people who are bored at home, prayers & virtual hugs to those having a hard time. It's a nightlight in the darkness right now.

But what about those that are barely making it right now? How can they even think about buying novelties for someone else when they are out of milk and toilet paper?

Maybe some of you want to bless someone, and you have the extra money, but you don't want to spend it on someone you don't know. Maybe some of you don't know how to bless others. Maybe some of you are already being a blessing to those around you.

You know the best part about blessing others? The blessing! Not the selfies at the homeless shelter, not the Instagram posts showing you picking up trash on the side of the road, not the college applications listing all your volunteer hours. The blessing is the best part!

This goes back to my thoughts on ninjas.

Whatever you choose to do to bless others, do it without the fanfare, the praise, or the audience. Pray about who to bless & how. Then as you get ready to be a blessing, pray FOR them. Be a blessing ninja! It's so much more fun seeing their smiles when they have no clue who made them smile!

Happy Blessings!

Class of 2020 - COVID 19 Roller Coaster Edition

Senior Year... it's a time of joy, anticipation, worry, stress, excitement, sadness, & gratitude. You cannot pin just one emotion on one of the biggest years of a young person's life.

It's a roller coaster of ups & downs, highs & lows, dizzying spins, & breathe taking drops. And just like a roller coaster, before you get on it, you have to wait. You wait through crowds of long lines watching the people in front of you, listening to their own excitement & concerns. You watch the people waiting behind you, they sometimes wish they were closer to the front of the line like you are. You watch the people who finally board the ride. Their faces, their squeals, their tears. Then its finally your turn, you climb aboard, get buckled in as best you can, & try to calm your nerves as you realize, it's here, it's finally my turn, there's no backing out now. You take off... then in the blink of an eye, the ride is pulling back into the station. It's over. It's hard to believe, but its over. All that waiting, watching, & anticipating, & now it's over. You did it. You exit the ride,  look back, & see the next passengers that are climbing aboard. They are taking the very seat that you just occupied. They are getting buckled in & getting ready for their long awaited ride. You are now a part of an elite group who can say I did it! I rode that ride! You can share your experience, your emotions, your concerns with fellow riders & with those who haven't gotten to ride yet.

This year started out just as every other senior year before. Ballgames, Homecoming, pep rallys, concerts, favorite teachers, classes you dread, spirit week, preparation for your graduation project, working a job, hanging out with friends, deciding what you want to do after graduation, applying for college, filling out scholarships, making plans for senior week, buying the perfect prom dress, barely holding back the tears during senior night, doing "your thing" for the very last time,

then ... BAM ... brick wall!

What. Just. Happened.

You get two weeks off & it's not Spring Break yet. It's not even holiday related. Well, hey, that's cool... I guess.

Then everyone starts talking about the possibility of school as we know it actually being canceled.

How is that even possible?

Those 2 weeks turn into 4 more, you try to keep up online with your assignments, you Zoom with your teachers, you try to find a job to help support your family, you reconsider your college plans, you miss your friends,  & you start to worry. What is going on?

Then, the inevitable happens. SCHOOL. IS. CANCELED.

We all knew it was coming, but it still hurts the heart! Life as we know it is completely upside down.

This was your year! This was your time!

The roller coaster has broken down & you are still strapped in. You can see the end up ahead. You know its there, but your stuck. That last steep hill, that last loop de loop is just out of your reach. You missed it! Everyone else got to enjoy the full ride, but here comes the proper authorities & they're helping you unbuckle & climb out. They are ushering you back down to the ground as safely as they can. You are thankful for their help, but you can't help to look back up at the ride & wonder what might have been.

Seniors, I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry! This year hasn't been exactly what you thought it would be. You are missing out on so many milestones & my heart breaks for you!

Spring sports, prom, graduation, senior skip day, & countless other final memories, all gone in the blink of an eye.

Class of 2020 - you were born during a huge time of uncertainty in the wake of the September 11 terrorist attacks, you have lived through an ongoing war on terror, you have faced many challenges & upsetting events, & now you are finishing high school during a global pandemic unlike anything we've ever experienced before. If you've made it this far, you are amazing. I applaud you. I pray for you. And I believe in you. You can do anything you set your minds to.

Class of 2020 - It's been one heck of a ride! A ride you will never forget. And more than likely, a ride that will not be duplicated.

Happy 18th Birthday Austin

I can't believe that this day is actually here!

My oldest son, the one who made me a momma, is 18!

It is such a bittersweet day. My emotions have literally been all over the place.

I am so proud of who you are becoming. I love the memories we have made. I'm excited for the paths that are laid out before you. I worry about the decisions you now have to make on your own. I'm sad that your childhood has come to an end.

Today was supposed to be a big day. It's technically Spring Break & we had plans! For years now, you have talked about wanting a tattoo. My response has always been "when you are 18 & pay for it yourself". You've had the perfect one picked out for months, you've been saving your money, & you even convinced me to go with you!

You were going to hang out with friends over the weekend. We were going to throw a big party & celebrate this milestone!

But life throws curveballs & sometimes things don't go how we want them to.

Instead, we ate supper as a family, cried together because you couldn't go see your friends & you blew out candles off of a homemade cake.

Life is certainly different than what we could have ever imagined it would be right now, but you have the whole world ahead of you & I can't wait to see the mountains you are going to conquer next!

The Twilight Zone - Covid 19 Edition

It's April Fool's Day.

We are in the middle of a global pandemic. All major sporting events have been cancelled. Schools have been put on hold. The majority of people that can, are now working from home. Grocery stores are out of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, Lysol, & canned goods. Churches have shut their doors & are now online.

Families are separated. Kids cannot go see their friends. Public parks are closed to the public.

Unemployment is high & morale is low.

The government has told us to shelter at home, self quarantine, & not go anywhere unless its absolutely necessary.

We are watching China, Italy, New York, & numerous other cities. We are watching & waiting. We are worrying & praying. We are scared, anxious, & even angry.

We have had basic freedoms taken away.

Doctors don't have the answers. The government is grasping for straws. The president is being roasted alive every single time he holds a briefing with the latest information.

Essential employees are working longer hours. They are required to wear masks & gloves, being asked to completely disrobe before they ever enter their homes so they don't possibly infect anyone else.

Today is April Fool's Day.

Does anyone else feel like this is one of the cruelest jokes the universe has ever played?

Does anyone else wish that someone, anyone, would jump out from behind the bushes & scream "Gotcha"?

I feel like we are in the strangest episode of The Twilight Zone ever created.

The New Super Hero

Who doesn't love a good super hero tale?

We grew up idolizing Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman. We watched The Incredible Hulk & Captain America. We played with action figures & colored pictures of our heroes. We all pretended we could fly & good would always prevail over evil.

All too soon, we gave up our days of fantasy. We learned the difference between real & make believe. We still thought good would prevail over evil. And we started looking up to athletes, movie stars, & musicians.

As we grew even more, we made real life decisions. We chased the dollar more than happiness. We respected businessmen, professionals, & our parents once again. We questioned if there was anyway that good could always win.

Our heroes have certainly changed over the years. From the ones pulled from the depths of our imagination to the more realistic ones resembling the people we know. Heroes come in all shapes and forms.

Recently, our views of heroes have shifted once again.

As we all take shelter safe at home, we look up to those essential workers. Those front liners that risk possible exposure every single time they show up for work. We hope & we pray that once again good can prevail over evil.

Doctors, nurses, CNAs, paramedics, all medical field personnel that try to heal the sick.

Teachers, principals, lunch ladies, office staff that work tirelessly so our children don't fall behind.

Grocery workers, truck drivers, garbage men, plumbers, mail carriers that continue with their day to day jobs so that our world doesn't completely shut down.

Moms & dads who are temporarily unemployed, stuck at home with crying babies, hungry teenagers, rambunctious elementary kids, trying to entertain, teach, feed, & reassure their families that everything is ok.


Everyone else out there, trying to continue with what appears to be our new normal. Trying to hold their emotions in check & be there for the people who need them most. We salute you. We thank you. We are indebted to you.



The regular everyday Joe has quickly become the face of our new super hero. Even if that face is hidden behind a different type of mask.

I've always known that not all super heroes wore capes. Its just been made a lot more real lately.