I’m Waiting on the Bigger & Better

Sometimes certain people have been in your life so long it’s hard to remember where they came from, how they got there, & even how you lived before they showed up. Sometimes people are in it for the long haul, no matter what, the highs & lows, through thick & thin. Sometimes people are just there for a short period when you seem to need each other most.

Sometimes people grow apart, develop new friends, or find new interests. Sometimes people move.

Then sometimes people walk out of your life at what feels like your rock bottom, when you feel you need them the most, when you feel all alone, when you feel no one is left in your corner. Those are the people that are hardest to forgive, that are hardest to get over, that are hardest to understand.

It’s not easy seeing those people at places where you used to be included. It’s not easy knowing that their life went on just as if you never existed. It’s not easy being on the outside looking in.

God has a reason for allowing those people in your life. Just as He has a reason for allowing those people to walk out of your life.

It certainly doesn’t make it any easier but at least maybe one day, the reason will become clear &
you can hold your head up a little higher knowing that even when those people tried to push you down, you came out on top.

Here’s to waiting, praying, BEGGING for the day that God sends someone even better to replace “those people”!

Ask and It Shall be Given

Far too often, I feel like a failure as a wife & mother. We all do, I think.

I feel like sometimes I neglect my marriage, neglect my husband. I know we are secure in our love & with each other so I fail to put in the effort that I should. I take my husband for granted (just like he takes me for granted). I get so caught up in the day to day insanity that I forget to nurture our relationship.

To be perfectly honest, we took an Anniversary trip several years back celebrating our 10 year, & I was miserable. I missed my kids. I didn’t know what to talk about. I was bored.

I’ve asked God to help me. Help me love my husband more. Help me adore him more. Help me want him more.

More recently (the past few years), I’ve started cherishing our alone time. Our mini vacations, our breakfast dates, riding along if he has to go somewhere. I enjoy being with just him.

As I was walking through the woods the other day with him to get a deer stand, I realized that God had answered my prayer.

He changed my heart & gave me a stronger desire for the one He picked out for me.

Then a strange thought struck me & I couldn’t help but giggle a little. I started looking forward to spending more time with my husband when my relationship with my teenager started getting stressful!

I immediately thanked God for renewing that love while apologizing for not praying for my kids enough.

Lord, help me through the rough days. Help me to cherish the good days. Help me to hold fast to your promises on all the days in between!

A Few Minutes Later

I have NEVER been so scared in all my life!

I was in the kitchen the other day cooking supper & thinking about a saint of God that just passed away. Austin was in his room, doing who knows what (cleaning supposedly), Makenzie was in her room, doing who knows what (homework supposedly), Logan was in my bathroom taking a bath.

I had just recently checked on all of them, talking to Austin about his day, making sure Makenzie was doing more homework than socializing, giving Logan his boat that he forgot to put within reach of the tub. I realized that all of a sudden it was quiet. Impossibly quiet!

As a mother, strange thoughts run through your head at strange moments. Dread filled my mind & I thought, “there’s no way...”.

I hurried to my bathroom, where it was still so quiet. I saw the boat exactly where I left it, untouched. I saw the water, perfectly still. I saw Logan’s little hand stretched out, not moving. Then I saw that he was laying completely covered in the water. The ONLY part not under water was his mouth & nose.

I said his name. I hoped he was washing his hair.

It took me a moment to react.

I jerked on his hand, & what felt like ever so slowly, he sat up. He looked at me confused as tears rushed down my cheeks. He had fallen asleep in the tub.

I couldn’t do much more than cry as I did my best not to scold him for falling asleep & explain that he could have died!

When he realized what had happened, Logan started crying as well. He just kept telling me he was so sorry.

Fear set in as I realized just how horrible this could have ended. If I had waited even a few minutes longer to check on him....

Lord I can’t bear the thought.