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Monday, February 28, 2011

Compromise

Life is about give & take, taking a step back on the lesser issues, & stepping up on those matters that are truly important. But, how far is too far?

I'm not talking about spiritual beliefs because, to me, that's one area that you cannot compromise on. If you do, the devil will have a field day. I'm talking about child rearing tactics.

I understand that every man & woman must come to an understanding about what they are going to take a stand for & what isn't worth struggling over. But how far do those boundaries exist? How many people do we let influence our parenting decisions? And just why, do others feel the need to but in when its not their kids?

I'm sorry, but God in trusted a man & a woman to make the correct choices for these precious gifts that we call children. He had enough confidence in them to provide these blessings. As long as their safety & well being isn't being endangered, then where is the need, as parents, to tiptoe around other people because they do not believe the same way we do?

Ssshhhheeewwwww...OK, I'm off my soap box now!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing - RELAX!


I've realized something very important this week......I need to RELAX! Yeah, that's right, I'm just like so many other people who expect too much, who try to do too much, & who worry too much. I have been so stressed out this week (the hormones do not help!) & that has reflected onto my kids who, in turn have acted accordingly. That has made me worry if I was making the right choices for their futures.

I know that I am making the right overall decision, even though sometimes the details get mixed up. God tells us in Deuteronomy 6:7 "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."

God has provided us the opportunity to homeschool. I am very thankful for this opportunity, but sometimes I need to be reminded. I need to take another look at the "How?" & the "Why?" so I don't forget the blessing & responsibility He has given us.

I "tweaked" the daily schedule today & I cannot explain just how great the day went! I know this was only one day, but it was that one day that I needed for that reassurance. THANK YOU LORD for that small victory!

I am willing to continue to change whatever doesn't work or fit our family. One of the things I know that needs changing is me. I have put way too many expectations upon myself & therefore upon my children. I am trying to "do school at home". If I will remember correctly, "school" wasn't exactly working before which is one of the reasons we brought Austin home. So, why am I surprised that its not working at home either? It will take me a long time to get the homeschool thing down right, but the willingness to learn & adapt is progress.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Another Year, Another Fight

I just want to thank God for deliverence & for His plan in all of our lives!

When we were little kids, our parents were always telling us "Not to fight". Afterall, good  little boys & girls didn't fight. We weren't supposed to fight with our siblings, our friends, our parents, or our teachers. BUT, there comes a time in everyone's life when the time comes that we must fight.

We encounter battles everyday. We just need to pick & choose which ones are worth fighting for.



I've always believed that I was a fighter. Not a brawler, per say, because I have never been in an actual physical fight, but when the road gets tough, usually, I've never been afraid to stand against the crowd for whats important to me.

In the past, I've had to stand up for friends & stand against friends. I've had to take a stand against my loved ones when their ideas didn't agree with mine. I've stood up for my church to fight & I've walked away when the time was necessary.

Two years ago, I was involved in a different fight. I was having to fight for my life after losing the baby that I didn't even know I was carrying.

Last year at this time, I'm ashamed to admit that I was losing my family & I wasn't doing a very good job of fighting for them.

This year, it looks like I am, yet again, fighting. I am fighting to teach my children not only their education, but also strong morales & values. I am fighting to keep my family together. I am fighting for everything that I believe in! Life is too short for us not to fight!

I can't believe the difference just a little bit of time can make. Don't ever quit fighting!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing - Failure is NOT an Option!

OK, OK, I know that my last post was AWFUL & it just reaked of "Woe is me", but seriously, haven't we all felt that way?! I was writing "in the moment". I don't want to ever discourage anyone, but then again, nothing is ever as rosey as it seems. We all experience good days & bad days. Well unfortunately, as far as school has been concerned, I've had just a few too many bad days in a row lately. BUT, IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!

I KNOW that this is God's calling on my life. I don't understand it all the time, but its not for me to understand everything this side of Heaven. God didn't ask me to understand it, He just told me to do it. I'm trying Lord, really I am. I get a "A" for effort (at least sometimes), right?

I just wanted to check back in with the world & let you know that I'm not giving up, no matter how much I want to sometimes, or how much simpler it might seem. Not only does the decisions I make affect my future, they also affect my children's futures. And my children are too important for me to just lay down & throw them to the wolves.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing - Failure

I am writing today in the middle of the school day. If you read this, its because you have come across it while reading another part of my blog. I am choosing not to "publicize" this one just because I don't want to create bad images of homeschooling. I'm sorry if I discourage anyone, but everything has an ugly side & I'm stuck in it & can't get out.

The past few weeks have been horrible. I feel like the biggest failure. So many things that I thought I was teaching correctly & that my son has been "getting", it turns out that now all of a sudden, he doesn't understand anymore! This mostly sweet (but stubborn) very bright child has turned into my biggest nightmare. He won't listen to anything I say. He won't even try to answer a question or work out a problem unless I am sitting right on top of him. I feel like I spend more time screaming than teaching or even loving on him.

I don't understand how I can get him to learn anything when I can't even get him to listen. How can God have enough faith in me to do anything with these kids? What in the world am I doing wrong? Surely everyone else doesn't have this hard of a time.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Who Am I

I have run the emotional gambit today. This morning did not start off very well & I managed to jump out of the bed screaming. Honestly, how good can a day be when you start off yelling at everyone? Is it too much to ask for a little peace & quite & a few minutes to lay in the bed? Well, this morning, it obviously was!

So, I decided that after I completely blew my top this morning, I was throwing myself a pity party. I've been feeling in the dumps lately & it was time to celebrate. Anybody want to come & join me? I know that we all get to this point from time to time & there's really no way around it, but to deal with it & go on.

Like I said, I've been here for several days now. I was at the point where I was questioning everything I said, everything I did, & every decision that I had EVER made.....ok, so I'm exaggerating, but only a little bit! We women tend to do that.

Like most mothers, wives, daughters...women in general - I felt invisible & completely taken for granted. It didn't matter how many loads of laundry, how many floors I swept, how many hot meals were fixed, how much time I spent planning our school lessons...it was somehow never enough, there was always more to do & not enough time to do it. Ok, ok, I know what you are saying.....everyone experiences the same thing. You're right, the majority of us have way too much to do & only a limited amount of time to get it done in. Seriously, do we really need to sleep?

Well, right about the same time that I was feeling useless, a friend posted an article on The Invisible Mother. BINGO! That was my thoughts to the tee. I finally found out the problem, I was invisible. No one ever saw that I was busy, that I was on the phone, that I was trying to take care of something else. I was only a pair of hands to tie shoes, to fix drinks. I was only a mind reader to find that missing shoe, to predict the schedule minute by minute for the next day, to remember what exactly the choices were for breakfast.

So, there is the low point. As the morning rolled on, I slowly crawled up from the pit that I allowed myself to fall into. Oh wait, did I mention that NO ONE ever listens to me! Yep, about the time, I'm feeling ok with life in general,I find myself fussing again, because no one was paying attention, yet again!

Ok, moving along....again.....I found out something today that blew my mind & humbled me beyond belief. Let me catch you up to speed.

A few weeks ago, I had a decision to make whether to continue to allow my children to participate in a program that had beliefs that were different than my family. Usually, this would not be an issue, but this was a very hard decision for me & I agonized over wanting to be in God's will, so we gave it up. I went to the director & let him know that the reason we were no longer participating involved the use of alternate scripture. My family only uses KJV. I know that this is not an issue for some people, but it is for us.

Well, around lunch time, I received a phone call from a friend. The director was talking to this mom & was heavily considering changing the scripture back to KJV because one family had expressed concern & could not participate. Um, excuse me, did I hear her correctly? Did you read that clearly? one family - ONE FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know about you, but in the world where I live, its a rare occasion that one little voice is ever heard speaking out against the crowd. Imagine that, me, little ole me, took a stand for my beliefs, & it has affected a whole range of people. I really thought I would have to stand alone, but then I am reminded that, no matter what, God is standing with me! That's the God I serve. He just proved again that He can & will work miracles through one person.