After Makenzie was born, we sold everything except the crib. I didn't plan on having any more babies. When we decided to try again & we lost the baby, I was really done. I was too scared. I never wanted to experience anything like that again. So when we were expecting Logan, we found ourselves needed everything again. Everything except the crib.
And even right after he was born, I knew I wanted one more. There are 3.5 years between Austin & Makenzie, then almost 6 years between Makenzie & Logan. I wanted another girl & I wanted the age span to be similar & I wanted a winter baby. (Austin is spring, Logan is summer, & Makenzie is fall - the baby we lost would have been born in winter)
There sure are an awful lot of "I"s in that last paragraph, huh. Well, here comes a few more.
I would still love another baby, but I am realizing that I am getting older. I am realizing that my kids are getting older. I am realizing that our house is getting smaller. I am realizing that my patience is getting thinner. I am realizing that God has prepared me for this moment. I am realizing that my family, even with all of our flaws, is just right.
So unless, God has another plan down the road, I am accepting the fact that I am done bearing babies.
Yes, yesterday was a sad day, but we kept the crib!