Thursday, August 9, 2018

I’m Thankful for Smoke Detectors at 2am

Have you ever be woken up in the middle of the night by your smoke detector? It’s kind of a weird feeling. You’re sleepy, you’re disoriented, you’re heart is pounding, you’re scared of the unknown.

That sound at that time is usually one of a parent’s worst nightmares. That might usually be the case, but it wasn’t mine. At least it wasn’t last night.

Last night, when my smoke detector woke me from a sound sleep at around 2am, I couldn’t help but smile a little.

I smiled because I smelled a familiar smell about 45 minutes earlier. And yes, that smell woke me up as well.

As I opened my bedroom door, through the smoky haze, I see one teenage boy asleep on the couch, oblivious to everything around him, I see one laughing hysterically on the floor, and I see my oldest son frantically fanning the smoke detector saying “sorry Mom”. It was 2am, they are teenagers, and they were hungry. They set the smoke detector off cooking a pizza (which reminds me... again... I really need to clean the oven).

So today, I’m thankful for friends, food, and working smoke detectors. But most of all I’m thankful that these boys were at my house texting girls & eating everything in the house instead of being out somewhere getting into trouble.

I would much rather be woken up from laughter & smoke detectors than from worry, fear, & dread. I pray that they always feel comfortable enough to walk through my doors without knocking & to help themselves to the junk food stash like its their own.

Lord, keep them safe, it’s a hard world out there.

Friday, July 27, 2018

Fear is a LIAR

I've never been a person to always look at the black cloud or to sit and worry about senseless, useless things that might never happen, ...
but then I had teenagers.

Having children is a pretty frightening ordeal in & of itself, but teenagers take it to a whole new level. They take the normal everyday fears that all parents worry about & they wad it up into a ball, bounce it off your head, set it on fire, & drop it off a cliff.

I'm talking FEAR people!

There's sex, drugs, social media, drinking, bad influences, driving, countless illegal stuff, & that just barely scratches the surface.

If you have teenagers, you better be praying constantly over them. If you are close to having teenagers, you better start praying now as well. If you've already had teenagers & everyone made it through without too many incidents, will you please pray for the rest of us?

I'm talking FEAR people!

My anxiety is at an all time high here lately. I'm trying so hard just to rest in the Lord & His mercies. Trying to rest is His promises.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

This has got to be one of my favorite songs out right now. 
Have you heard it?

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

1st Annual Girls Weekend

I had the honor of watching my beautiful daughter perform in her first cheer competition this past weekend. Their squad didn't even place, but I was beyond proud.

So many of them had never cheered competitively & a few of them had never cheered at all, ever. So for them to throw a routine together in just a few short weeks, get out there with very little mistakes, hold their heads up as they realized the weren't going to win, & walk out of there smiling & laughing. Yes, I was proud.

But my favorite part of this weekend wasn't the competition. It wasn't hanging out with her friends (& moms) after. It wasn't the fact that we went to the beach afterward. It was the journey itself. It was going somewhere with just her, focusing on just us having fun. No fighting for attention from everyone else. No arguing over the radio. No "are we there yet?" or "he's touching me!".

It was just Makenzie & me, doing exactly what we wanted to do, on our time table. Stopping for out of the way adventures & eating at "hole in the wall" places.
*For those of you that don't know me well enough to understand the importance of the hole in the wall, think of it as your favorite local restaurant that most visitors don't know anything about, the place that has very little advertisement, but amazing food. You can have your chain restaurants & stores, give me a local cafe anyday.*

I can remember taking trips with my mom, grandma, cousin, & aunt when I was little. Oh the fun we had.

I hope the girls weekend trips become a regular event. And I hope she looks back on them with as many fond memories as I have!

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

I will survive, right?

I have thought so many times lately that I need to write, I want to write, but the words won't come. They're right there, floating around in my brain, but I can't put them in the order they need to be. And when I do get my thoughts together, I can't help but think, why bother. It feels like the same ole struggle and the same ole worries with the same ole outcome and quite frankly, that just sucks.

Why do so many of my heartaches involve my teenage son? Oh mercy, I feel so much older than I actually am. And why do so many of his issues involve girls?

I'm trying so hard not to meddle, really I am. But its hard when you sit there and watch your baby become so much less than you dreamed they would be. So much less than what they are capable of being.

He has been lying about everything. His grades have severely dropped. He argues with everyone around him. I can't help but believe its all about a girl.

Isn't it always...

Then he fights constantly with the girl & gets defensive if we say anything about it. 

I am so utterly clueless with this parenting thing.

I'll try my best not to constantly depress you with our struggles, but that's the stage of life we are in right now.

Tell me that we will survive this.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

I’m Waiting on the Bigger & Better

Sometimes certain people have been in your life so long it’s hard to remember where they came from, how they got there, & even how you lived before they showed up. Sometimes people are in it for the long haul, no matter what, the highs & lows, through thick & thin. Sometimes people are just there for a short period when you seem to need each other most.

Sometimes people grow apart, develop new friends, or find new interests. Sometimes people move.

Then sometimes people walk out of your life at what feels like your rock bottom, when you feel you need them the most, when you feel all alone, when you feel no one is left in your corner. Those are the people that are hardest to forgive, that are hardest to get over, that are hardest to understand.

It’s not easy seeing those people at places where you used to be included. It’s not easy knowing that their life went on just as if you never existed. It’s not easy being on the outside looking in.

God has a reason for allowing those people in your life. Just as He has a reason for allowing those people to walk out of your life.

It certainly doesn’t make it any easier but at least maybe one day, the reason will become clear &
you can hold your head up a little higher knowing that even when those people tried to push you down, you came out on top.

Here’s to waiting, praying, BEGGING for the day that God sends someone even better to replace “those people”!

Monday, April 23, 2018

Ask and It Shall be Given

Far too often, I feel like a failure as a wife & mother. We all do, I think.

I feel like sometimes I neglect my marriage, neglect my husband. I know we are secure in our love & with each other so I fail to put in the effort that I should. I take my husband for granted (just like he takes me for granted). I get so caught up in the day to day insanity that I forget to nurture our relationship.

To be perfectly honest, we took an Anniversary trip several years back celebrating our 10 year, & I was miserable. I missed my kids. I didn’t know what to talk about. I was bored.

I’ve asked God to help me. Help me love my husband more. Help me adore him more. Help me want him more.

More recently (the past few years), I’ve started cherishing our alone time. Our mini vacations, our breakfast dates, riding along if he has to go somewhere. I enjoy being with just him.

As I was walking through the woods the other day with him to get a deer stand, I realized that God had answered my prayer.

He changed my heart & gave me a stronger desire for the one He picked out for me.

Then a strange thought struck me & I couldn’t help but giggle a little. I started looking forward to spending more time with my husband when my relationship with my teenager started getting stressful!

I immediately thanked God for renewing that love while apologizing for not praying for my kids enough.

Lord, help me through the rough days. Help me to cherish the good days. Help me to hold fast to your promises on all the days in between!

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

A Few Minutes Later

I have NEVER been so scared in all my life!

I was in the kitchen the other day cooking supper & thinking about a saint of God that just passed away. Austin was in his room, doing who knows what (cleaning supposedly), Makenzie was in her room, doing who knows what (homework supposedly), Logan was in my bathroom taking a bath.

I had just recently checked on all of them, talking to Austin about his day, making sure Makenzie was doing more homework than socializing, giving Logan his boat that he forgot to put within reach of the tub. I realized that all of a sudden it was quiet. Impossibly quiet!

As a mother, strange thoughts run through your head at strange moments. Dread filled my mind & I thought, “there’s no way...”.

I hurried to my bathroom, where it was still so quiet. I saw the boat exactly where I left it, untouched. I saw the water, perfectly still. I saw Logan’s little hand stretched out, not moving. Then I saw that he was laying completely covered in the water. The ONLY part not under water was his mouth & nose.

I said his name. I hoped he was washing his hair.

It took me a moment to react.

I jerked on his hand, & what felt like ever so slowly, he sat up. He looked at me confused as tears rushed down my cheeks. He had fallen asleep in the tub.

I couldn’t do much more than cry as I did my best not to scold him for falling asleep & explain that he could have died!

When he realized what had happened, Logan started crying as well. He just kept telling me he was so sorry.

Fear set in as I realized just how horrible this could have ended. If I had waited even a few minutes longer to check on him....

Lord I can’t bear the thought.

I’m Thankful for Smoke Detectors at 2am

Have you ever be woken up in the middle of the night by your smoke detector? It’s kind of a weird feeling. You’re sleepy, you’re disoriented...