I Hate Bedtime

Have I stated before how much I detest bedtime?

Oh no, I enjoy going to bed, but I've never liked bedtime.

These parents that talk lovingly about their wonderful bedtime routine with their children have got to be heavily medicated. Oh sure, that newborn that you give a bath, massage for 10 minutes, then snuggle until they fall into a blissful slumber sure sounds grand. But where's the reality with that?

I detest bedtime because it's a constant struggle.
 

I go back and forth between the kids, finding an acceptable book to read, taking one a drink of water (even though they were just up & didn't think to get a drink of water...just like every other night for the past XXX days), running one out of the bathroom (not because they are actually using the bathroom, but because obviously they've not had enough time to stare in the mirror today), reminding one to put their dirty clothes in the hamper & put their shoes up (again), running one off of the cell phone because they "forgot" to turn the volume off (when they are really sending a last minute text because they had to get off the phone at least 30 minutes ago), ushering one back to bed again & again & again (and being called into the bedroom to answer question after question & to give a detailed itinerary of tomorrow's schedule), saying no to repeated cries of wanting a snack because they are starving.

And then, I breathe deeply & feel overwhelming guilt & sadness because there are so many that would love to have children to tuck in one last time, that would love for their kids to be healthy enough to keep getting out of bed, that would love to just have a bed or a child or anything of their own. And I pray for help to be a better mom, to not lose my temper so easily, to not take things for granted, for everyone to have a good night's sleep with sweet dreams, and for far more grace than I deserve so we can start all over again tomorrow.