Come to the Table

"Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. 

Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight in fatness.

Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near."

Isaiah 55:1,2,6

On this New Year's morning, the bright and shiny day of a new year, a new decade even, the tears came fast and free as I read my devotional.

The past couple of days have been great at my house. We haven't had any real plans. We haven't been rushing from one place to another. We have had time to sit down at our table (yes, I really have one when it's not covered with stuff), eat supper, and enjoy family time. With 3 different practice schedules, a full time job, a part time job with hours that are more full time than part, 2 coaching jobs, plus 2 teenagers that have plans of their own, those days are few and far between. 

When life gets so crazy hectic, the guilt really sets in. I worry if they are enjoying their childhood. I worry that its all too much. I worry if I have done enough, or taught enough, or loved enough.

With our busyness, too often I neglect the house, family dinners, bedtime stories, the 3rd grader's homework, my personal needs, writing, God, too many things to list. And of course, I don't have anything to cook for breakfast, so its frozen waffles...again.

Then I read this devotional that I've been enjoying by an equally busy mom of 4 boys and it pierces my heart the way good things so often do.

"Today, Jesus invited me to come to His table. Come and eat, He wants to fill me up, yet I have this lingering doubt, Do you really want just me? I don't have much to offer...I should really bring something...earn my place at your table. I scrape together a chocolate dirt and worms pudding pie full of excuses, I'm sorrys and should haves. I bring along a list of what I think I got right and how I'm trying so hard. It's the best I could do amidst the hurriedness of life. 

Arriving, I'm embarrassed to see I am His only guest. There is a table full of my favorites laid out before me as a reminder of how well He knows my heart. Then Jesus himself serves me. The main course of truth with a side of grace and oh-so-sweet bread of life lathered in love. I set my dirt and worms pie off to the side realizing my effort wasn't needed, He just wanted me to enjoy dinner on the house."

I'm so thankful that Jesus doesn't place the same expectations on my life that I do. I'm so thankful that even though I think I have failed far more than I could have possibly succeeded, He is still there, waiting, with His table set beautifully just for me.

*devotion from The Shadow of My Porch Swing*