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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Is He Always This Happy?

I get asked this ALL THE TIME. The answer is NO!

Its no secret, my little Logan is S P O I L E D. I can't help it. From the time he was born, he has wanted to be attached to me, or at the very least, within sight.

I didn't get hardly anything done when he was first born. I tried to set him down, I tried to let others hold him, I tried to make him cry it out. REPEATEDLY! He would not cooperate, at all.

Its rare for anyone else to get him to sleep & I feel guilty if I go out without him because I come home to find out that he has been fussy all night.

Time has helped very little. He still wants Momma all the time, he still wakes up twice a night, he still fusses if I walk by & don't pay any attention to him, & I still have to put him to bed most of the time.

That being said, Logan has been super fussy in the evenings lately. Combination of teething, ear infection, & giving up a nap. Unfortunately, he has to be rocked to sleep. You CANNOT just lay him down. Trust me, I have tried!

Logan was very sleepy this evening. He woke up early from his nap & just fussed. Nothing would satisfy him. So after making him wait a little while, I fed him supper & went to lay him down. He would doze off in my arms, wake up, pinch my arm, pull his pappy out of his mouth, & attempt to throw it, then fall back asleep & repeat. Yes, he certainly has an attitude! After a few minutes of "calm sleep", I always try to lay him down & walk out of the room.

Sometimes, I get out of the room (sometimes I don't) before he starts crying. I always give him about 10 minutes in the hopes that one day he will fall asleep (sometimes he does), but tonight WAS NOT one of those times. This cycle literally went on for an hour & a half. My nerves were shot!

The last time I went in there, I couldn't help but be angry. I picked him up & sat in the rocking chair & emotion flooded over me. I started bawling. I felt guilty for being angry at this little person but at the same time, I felt discouraged knowing that he is so dependent on me.

Through the tears, I thanked God for the ability to hear my baby's cries. I thanked God for a baby who has lungs healthy enough to scream. I thanked God for another chance just to hold this little guy. I thanked God for the fact that Logan feels so safe in my arms.

Then, that stinker reached a chubby little hand up to my mouth for me to kiss his fingers the way I so often do. He smiled at me behind his pappy & once again, my heart melted.

This was taken as soon as I gave up on getting him to sleep -
tell me they don't know exactly what they are doing!


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