Blessing Ninja

I've always liked ninjas, haven't you?

They wear all black, have really fancy gadgets, usually come with cool theme music, & know how to take care of business. Most of the time they get in & get out without batting an eye or without someone else knowing, except for the occasional fight, but that's not important right now.

There's several "Blessing" groups on Facebook right now. The idea is to make a wish list of stuff you want or need from Amazon & then someone else buys it for you. You in turn, buy for other people as well. Kinda like an ongoing online shower. The concept is really neat & I'm a part of a couple of them. We also play online games, offer prayer requests, & get to know new people.

Let's be honest, most of the things on the lists are wants, not needs, & that's fine. Sometimes you NEED a few wants, it keeps us feeling normal. Lord knows we need normal right now.

I have nothing against these groups! They are bringing hope to weary mommas, smiles to children who have missed out of birthday parties, supplies for teachers trying to prepare for when they return to their classrooms, necessities for college kids looking forward to a new adventure, snacks & crafts to people who are bored at home, prayers & virtual hugs to those having a hard time. It's a nightlight in the darkness right now.

But what about those that are barely making it right now? How can they even think about buying novelties for someone else when they are out of milk and toilet paper?

Maybe some of you want to bless someone, and you have the extra money, but you don't want to spend it on someone you don't know. Maybe some of you don't know how to bless others. Maybe some of you are already being a blessing to those around you.

You know the best part about blessing others? The blessing! Not the selfies at the homeless shelter, not the Instagram posts showing you picking up trash on the side of the road, not the college applications listing all your volunteer hours. The blessing is the best part!

This goes back to my thoughts on ninjas.

Whatever you choose to do to bless others, do it without the fanfare, the praise, or the audience. Pray about who to bless & how. Then as you get ready to be a blessing, pray FOR them. Be a blessing ninja! It's so much more fun seeing their smiles when they have no clue who made them smile!

Happy Blessings!

Class of 2020 - COVID 19 Roller Coaster Edition

Senior Year... it's a time of joy, anticipation, worry, stress, excitement, sadness, & gratitude. You cannot pin just one emotion on one of the biggest years of a young person's life.

It's a roller coaster of ups & downs, highs & lows, dizzying spins, & breathe taking drops. And just like a roller coaster, before you get on it, you have to wait. You wait through crowds of long lines watching the people in front of you, listening to their own excitement & concerns. You watch the people waiting behind you, they sometimes wish they were closer to the front of the line like you are. You watch the people who finally board the ride. Their faces, their squeals, their tears. Then its finally your turn, you climb aboard, get buckled in as best you can, & try to calm your nerves as you realize, it's here, it's finally my turn, there's no backing out now. You take off... then in the blink of an eye, the ride is pulling back into the station. It's over. It's hard to believe, but its over. All that waiting, watching, & anticipating, & now it's over. You did it. You exit the ride,  look back, & see the next passengers that are climbing aboard. They are taking the very seat that you just occupied. They are getting buckled in & getting ready for their long awaited ride. You are now a part of an elite group who can say I did it! I rode that ride! You can share your experience, your emotions, your concerns with fellow riders & with those who haven't gotten to ride yet.

This year started out just as every other senior year before. Ballgames, Homecoming, pep rallys, concerts, favorite teachers, classes you dread, spirit week, preparation for your graduation project, working a job, hanging out with friends, deciding what you want to do after graduation, applying for college, filling out scholarships, making plans for senior week, buying the perfect prom dress, barely holding back the tears during senior night, doing "your thing" for the very last time,

then ... BAM ... brick wall!

What. Just. Happened.

You get two weeks off & it's not Spring Break yet. It's not even holiday related. Well, hey, that's cool... I guess.

Then everyone starts talking about the possibility of school as we know it actually being canceled.

How is that even possible?

Those 2 weeks turn into 4 more, you try to keep up online with your assignments, you Zoom with your teachers, you try to find a job to help support your family, you reconsider your college plans, you miss your friends,  & you start to worry. What is going on?

Then, the inevitable happens. SCHOOL. IS. CANCELED.

We all knew it was coming, but it still hurts the heart! Life as we know it is completely upside down.

This was your year! This was your time!

The roller coaster has broken down & you are still strapped in. You can see the end up ahead. You know its there, but your stuck. That last steep hill, that last loop de loop is just out of your reach. You missed it! Everyone else got to enjoy the full ride, but here comes the proper authorities & they're helping you unbuckle & climb out. They are ushering you back down to the ground as safely as they can. You are thankful for their help, but you can't help to look back up at the ride & wonder what might have been.

Seniors, I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry! This year hasn't been exactly what you thought it would be. You are missing out on so many milestones & my heart breaks for you!

Spring sports, prom, graduation, senior skip day, & countless other final memories, all gone in the blink of an eye.

Class of 2020 - you were born during a huge time of uncertainty in the wake of the September 11 terrorist attacks, you have lived through an ongoing war on terror, you have faced many challenges & upsetting events, & now you are finishing high school during a global pandemic unlike anything we've ever experienced before. If you've made it this far, you are amazing. I applaud you. I pray for you. And I believe in you. You can do anything you set your minds to.

Class of 2020 - It's been one heck of a ride! A ride you will never forget. And more than likely, a ride that will not be duplicated.

Happy 18th Birthday Austin

I can't believe that this day is actually here!

My oldest son, the one who made me a momma, is 18!

It is such a bittersweet day. My emotions have literally been all over the place.

I am so proud of who you are becoming. I love the memories we have made. I'm excited for the paths that are laid out before you. I worry about the decisions you now have to make on your own. I'm sad that your childhood has come to an end.

Today was supposed to be a big day. It's technically Spring Break & we had plans! For years now, you have talked about wanting a tattoo. My response has always been "when you are 18 & pay for it yourself". You've had the perfect one picked out for months, you've been saving your money, & you even convinced me to go with you!

You were going to hang out with friends over the weekend. We were going to throw a big party & celebrate this milestone!

But life throws curveballs & sometimes things don't go how we want them to.

Instead, we ate supper as a family, cried together because you couldn't go see your friends & you blew out candles off of a homemade cake.

Life is certainly different than what we could have ever imagined it would be right now, but you have the whole world ahead of you & I can't wait to see the mountains you are going to conquer next!

The Twilight Zone - Covid 19 Edition

It's April Fool's Day.

We are in the middle of a global pandemic. All major sporting events have been cancelled. Schools have been put on hold. The majority of people that can, are now working from home. Grocery stores are out of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, Lysol, & canned goods. Churches have shut their doors & are now online.

Families are separated. Kids cannot go see their friends. Public parks are closed to the public.

Unemployment is high & morale is low.

The government has told us to shelter at home, self quarantine, & not go anywhere unless its absolutely necessary.

We are watching China, Italy, New York, & numerous other cities. We are watching & waiting. We are worrying & praying. We are scared, anxious, & even angry.

We have had basic freedoms taken away.

Doctors don't have the answers. The government is grasping for straws. The president is being roasted alive every single time he holds a briefing with the latest information.

Essential employees are working longer hours. They are required to wear masks & gloves, being asked to completely disrobe before they ever enter their homes so they don't possibly infect anyone else.

Today is April Fool's Day.

Does anyone else feel like this is one of the cruelest jokes the universe has ever played?

Does anyone else wish that someone, anyone, would jump out from behind the bushes & scream "Gotcha"?

I feel like we are in the strangest episode of The Twilight Zone ever created.

The New Super Hero

Who doesn't love a good super hero tale?

We grew up idolizing Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman. We watched The Incredible Hulk & Captain America. We played with action figures & colored pictures of our heroes. We all pretended we could fly & good would always prevail over evil.

All too soon, we gave up our days of fantasy. We learned the difference between real & make believe. We still thought good would prevail over evil. And we started looking up to athletes, movie stars, & musicians.

As we grew even more, we made real life decisions. We chased the dollar more than happiness. We respected businessmen, professionals, & our parents once again. We questioned if there was anyway that good could always win.

Our heroes have certainly changed over the years. From the ones pulled from the depths of our imagination to the more realistic ones resembling the people we know. Heroes come in all shapes and forms.

Recently, our views of heroes have shifted once again.

As we all take shelter safe at home, we look up to those essential workers. Those front liners that risk possible exposure every single time they show up for work. We hope & we pray that once again good can prevail over evil.

Doctors, nurses, CNAs, paramedics, all medical field personnel that try to heal the sick.

Teachers, principals, lunch ladies, office staff that work tirelessly so our children don't fall behind.

Grocery workers, truck drivers, garbage men, plumbers, mail carriers that continue with their day to day jobs so that our world doesn't completely shut down.

Moms & dads who are temporarily unemployed, stuck at home with crying babies, hungry teenagers, rambunctious elementary kids, trying to entertain, teach, feed, & reassure their families that everything is ok.


Everyone else out there, trying to continue with what appears to be our new normal. Trying to hold their emotions in check & be there for the people who need them most. We salute you. We thank you. We are indebted to you.



The regular everyday Joe has quickly become the face of our new super hero. Even if that face is hidden behind a different type of mask.

I've always known that not all super heroes wore capes. Its just been made a lot more real lately.

An Open Letter to the Sport that Changed our Lives

Dear Wrestling,

Thank you. Thank you for allowing my family to be a part of something bigger than we are. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the heartbreak. Thank you for the friends we've made along the way. Thank you for showing us that some friendships aren't truly friendships when its just the two of you on that mat. Thank you for proving that some friendships are
stronger than who's hand gets raised. Thank you for dreams that come true. Thank you for the lessons learned.

When we started this journey 6 years ago (wow, has it only been 6 years, it feels like so much more), I never dreamed how important you would become in our lives. When my 106 pound 7th grader slammed the door after practice one day mid season saying he wanted to quit, I never thought our relationship would continue. We've never quit anything so he endured until the end, but it didn't matter to me either way if he chose to see you again. He had an ok season with more losses than wins and was granted the most improved wrestler award. We tried something new, it wasn't our favorite, and that is ok.


But our relationship did continue. He put on 15 pounds in that first month post season, was happy because he could eat again, and came back as a stronger 126 pound 8th grader. He learned that 2 raspberry doughnuts the night before a match will make you be 4 ounces overweight. He never missed weight again, no matter what it cost him. He had a stellar season, taking down opponent after opponent, until the conference championship. He learned that 6 consecutive backthrows will wear you out and bring the whole gym to its feet. And even if you lose by 3 points, you have the satisfaction of being a part of the best match of the tournament. He received the most valuable award, made a long term friend, & I was a proud momma.


We trained tirelessly through the off season. Practice, tournaments, medals, the top of the podium. It felt good & we started thinking that we liked this sport called wrestling.






Freshman year found him 6 pounds heavier and completely in awe at how the competition changed. That's ok, it just meant he had to work harder. He learned that you have to keep fighting until
the very last second even when you're down by 4 against a senior, because all you need is 12 seconds, a reversal, & back points to win & surprise everyone. He learned what fighting through the pain meant when he suffered a 2nd degree AC tear at Regionals and refused to stop or forfeit the remainder of his matches that day. He learned you can always go to the hospital when its over with. He earned the coach's award that year and realized that 2nd place at AAU States isn't bad for a freshman. And we started thinking.


He put on a few more pounds Sophomore year to weigh in at 138 and learned that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't beat this one local rockstar, but he could finally go toe to toe with him after two years without getting pinned. He learned that some matches will almost always result in needing a police escort and some fans just suck. He learned that 6th in the Region wasn't what he wanted. His teammates voted him to receive the Cardinal award. He returned to AAU States with 2nd place again and we started thinking... maybe there really is a future here.


He returned as a much more confident 145 pound Junior who had
absolutely fallen in love with you. He had a passion that would not be denied. He was a leader, an example, and a teacher. He learned that unfortunately, those certain fans still suck, sometimes friendships cannot overcome that, his momma is always in his corner fighting with him, and his papa has a temper. He learned that your 100th win as a Junior is amazing. He learned that being the Conference Champion, being named the #1 seed in the region and #3 seed in the state is sweet, but the stats don't always reflect the outcome and fighting through the blood round at Regionals is brutal. But oh the relief of placing 3rd at Regionals and having the chance to compete on the state level.

We took 4 to the State tournament last year. We had all been to big tournaments before, but to be able to even witness this level of competition was mind blowing. It was exciting, it was inspiring, and it was scary. Three Juniors and a Sophomore ready to take on the world. We learned the true meaning of the spotlight last year, as the weekend went on and we had the only two wrestlers left competing for hardware in the county. We learned that the parade of champions will make you cry & you will never hear We Are the Champions the same way again. We learned that its entirely possible to be physically sick from nerves. We learned the fastest way to the local hospital after landing on your head and neck and not being able to squeeze your coach's hand. We learned that 2nd

place in all the State is not a bad place to be. We learned that true friends will take a picture with you
in the hospital, neck brace and all, because you didn't get to stand on the podium. Hey, that picture looks pretty cool in the yearbook too. He realized that its ok to take a break and we really started thinking about college.



Over the summer, that upcoming Senior fought to remain at 145 pounds. He learned that JRob Intensive Camp is a beast. He learned what it was like to be over 7 hours from home for 2 weeks and realized even though he's growing up, he still gets homesick. He learned that sometimes, no matter how hard he tries, his body will not cooperate, will catch every sickness going around, and will shut down completely. He learned what sheer exhaustion was.




Before the season ever started this year, we learned the excitement of getting scouted. We learned that all the effort and hard work was paying off. We learned that dreams do come true and we learned he could have a home in Bristol, TN if he wanted it.

This year, my Senior learned that the spotlight isn't as pretty when it shines brightest on you. As an unknown Junior, he came out of nowhere to place 2nd in State. As a returning Senior, all eyes were on him, waiting and watching, picking apart the successes and failures. He learned that some matches just aren't yours to win. He learned that its a harder struggle to lose with grace and dignity than it looks. He learned that some refs are biased and make wrong calls, that sometimes luck wins out, yes, those same fans, plus many more, still suck, and that his daddy will fight for him, even if they both get suspended. He learned that people are going to talk about you, no matter what. He learned that
injuries can decide a period, a match, or a season. He learned the heartache that one bad move can allow the 5th seed to beat the 1st seed and win the Conference. He learned that talk is cheap. He learned that far too many matches are won or lost in the last seconds. He learned that his momma will cry her eyes out after a heart stopping match on the side of the mat without caring who's around her. He learned that 2nd in the Region with a return trip to State is just as sweet as it was the first time.

Unfortunately, my family had to learn the heartache of choosing between two equally important events and I had just watched my last wrestling match in person. I would have to watch the State Tournament via live stream while on a trip with my daughter. I was devastated.

We took our only two Seniors back to state this year and what a duo they are. Those two have had each other's backs since day one. They have fought beside each other in karate at 5 years old. They have battled beside each other for 12 years of football. They have coached, cheered, encouraged, and cried beside each other for 6 years of wrestling. How very fitting that these two finished out the year, the season, and their careers with the same color medal. Silver doesn't shine as brightly as gold, but it ain't dull by no means. That duo, for the 2nd year in a row, placed higher than anyone else in the county. That duo is nothing short of amazing! And we learned that the parade of champions still makes you cry, even harder when one of your best friends is walking along side of you.


I'll be perfectly honest, going into Senior year, just the thoughts of Senior night made me anxious. I thought I would be a basket case. But I developed a love hate relationship with you this year, wrestling. Oh how I loved you, how I loved watching my son do what he loved to do. How I got just as nervous as he did, how I moved right along side of him trying to help him get out of sticky situations. How my heart pounded for however much time of those six minutes he needed, and how I was physically sick when it took longer than six minutes. But oh the pressure. The pressure was physically crushing this year like it has never been before. The pain I saw as his body took a beating. The disappointment I saw in him as he relived every single mistake. The anger when he thought things didn't go the way they should have. The fear of letting everyone down. The sorrow of realizing its over. The uncertainty of what comes next.

Now that his high school career is over, he's made a very adult decision. Even though he worked hard enough to accomplish his dream of continuing with you in college, he's decided that its time to go your separate ways. He has hung up his shoes. He has left everything he has on the mat for the very last time and can walk away with his head held high knowing it was a life changing experience.


So wrestling, I thank you. I thank you for helping turn my son into a man. I thank you for teaching us that some of the most important lessons in life don't come from the top of the podium. I thank you for the joy you have brought me and the tears you have cost me. You have shaped this whole family more than you will ever know. It's been an amazing ride and I wouldn't change the twists and turns for anything.


Sincerely,

A Grateful Wrestling Mom

Come to the Table

"Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. 

Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight in fatness.

Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near."

Isaiah 55:1,2,6

On this New Year's morning, the bright and shiny day of a new year, a new decade even, the tears came fast and free as I read my devotional.

The past couple of days have been great at my house. We haven't had any real plans. We haven't been rushing from one place to another. We have had time to sit down at our table (yes, I really have one when it's not covered with stuff), eat supper, and enjoy family time. With 3 different practice schedules, a full time job, a part time job with hours that are more full time than part, 2 coaching jobs, plus 2 teenagers that have plans of their own, those days are few and far between. 

When life gets so crazy hectic, the guilt really sets in. I worry if they are enjoying their childhood. I worry that its all too much. I worry if I have done enough, or taught enough, or loved enough.

With our busyness, too often I neglect the house, family dinners, bedtime stories, the 3rd grader's homework, my personal needs, writing, God, too many things to list. And of course, I don't have anything to cook for breakfast, so its frozen waffles...again.

Then I read this devotional that I've been enjoying by an equally busy mom of 4 boys and it pierces my heart the way good things so often do.

"Today, Jesus invited me to come to His table. Come and eat, He wants to fill me up, yet I have this lingering doubt, Do you really want just me? I don't have much to offer...I should really bring something...earn my place at your table. I scrape together a chocolate dirt and worms pudding pie full of excuses, I'm sorrys and should haves. I bring along a list of what I think I got right and how I'm trying so hard. It's the best I could do amidst the hurriedness of life. 

Arriving, I'm embarrassed to see I am His only guest. There is a table full of my favorites laid out before me as a reminder of how well He knows my heart. Then Jesus himself serves me. The main course of truth with a side of grace and oh-so-sweet bread of life lathered in love. I set my dirt and worms pie off to the side realizing my effort wasn't needed, He just wanted me to enjoy dinner on the house."

I'm so thankful that Jesus doesn't place the same expectations on my life that I do. I'm so thankful that even though I think I have failed far more than I could have possibly succeeded, He is still there, waiting, with His table set beautifully just for me.

*devotion from The Shadow of My Porch Swing*