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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Running on Empty


Its no secret that I tend to run crazy wide open most of the time. Its also no secret that I don't take as much time for myself as I probably should. Like most mom's, I usually put everyone else's needs in front of my own.

That's been hard for me to do lately.

After 3 L O N G weeks, I have finally just started to feel better. Logan & I have both had ear infections & bronchitis. I had a sinus infection as well.

During this time, we both missed a lot of church. Its strange how much you take things for granted until you no longer have them.

But wait...back up a little bit. Before this extended absence, I felt myself getting comfortable, complacent even, with what very little time I was spending with the Lord. I kept finding other things that needed my time, attention, & ultimately my heart.

While all of this other stuff was enjoyable in itself, I found myself increasingly unhappy. No matter what was going on, I just wasn't truly happy. I was starting to get depressed & I didn't want to see anyone or go anywhere. My husband even asked me about the funk I was in. I couldn't explain it.

Then we got sick. I didn't have the option of going to church & I found myself even more depressed as I sat  in this quite house while Logan was asleep & everyone else was gone. I didn't know what to do with myself. Whatever I did to pass the time quickly bored me & left me hunting for something else to occupy my time.

Sadly, studying my bible or talking to God didn't cross my mind.

WOW! I was that far gone in that short amount of time!

I wasn't out living in sin. I wasn't doing anything I "shouldn't" do. But all of a sudden (or so it felt), I couldn't even feel God, let alone hear Him!

I was running on empty yet again.

This was playing yesterday morning & it was just what I needed ... yet again!


I am so thankful that God is standing there with open arms EVERY time I am ready to come home! Hopefully one day, I will finally realize that "HOME" is where I need to stay!

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