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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Who Am I

I have run the emotional gambit today. This morning did not start off very well & I managed to jump out of the bed screaming. Honestly, how good can a day be when you start off yelling at everyone? Is it too much to ask for a little peace & quite & a few minutes to lay in the bed? Well, this morning, it obviously was!

So, I decided that after I completely blew my top this morning, I was throwing myself a pity party. I've been feeling in the dumps lately & it was time to celebrate. Anybody want to come & join me? I know that we all get to this point from time to time & there's really no way around it, but to deal with it & go on.

Like I said, I've been here for several days now. I was at the point where I was questioning everything I said, everything I did, & every decision that I had EVER made.....ok, so I'm exaggerating, but only a little bit! We women tend to do that.

Like most mothers, wives, daughters...women in general - I felt invisible & completely taken for granted. It didn't matter how many loads of laundry, how many floors I swept, how many hot meals were fixed, how much time I spent planning our school lessons...it was somehow never enough, there was always more to do & not enough time to do it. Ok, ok, I know what you are saying.....everyone experiences the same thing. You're right, the majority of us have way too much to do & only a limited amount of time to get it done in. Seriously, do we really need to sleep?

Well, right about the same time that I was feeling useless, a friend posted an article on The Invisible Mother. BINGO! That was my thoughts to the tee. I finally found out the problem, I was invisible. No one ever saw that I was busy, that I was on the phone, that I was trying to take care of something else. I was only a pair of hands to tie shoes, to fix drinks. I was only a mind reader to find that missing shoe, to predict the schedule minute by minute for the next day, to remember what exactly the choices were for breakfast.

So, there is the low point. As the morning rolled on, I slowly crawled up from the pit that I allowed myself to fall into. Oh wait, did I mention that NO ONE ever listens to me! Yep, about the time, I'm feeling ok with life in general,I find myself fussing again, because no one was paying attention, yet again!

Ok, moving along....again.....I found out something today that blew my mind & humbled me beyond belief. Let me catch you up to speed.

A few weeks ago, I had a decision to make whether to continue to allow my children to participate in a program that had beliefs that were different than my family. Usually, this would not be an issue, but this was a very hard decision for me & I agonized over wanting to be in God's will, so we gave it up. I went to the director & let him know that the reason we were no longer participating involved the use of alternate scripture. My family only uses KJV. I know that this is not an issue for some people, but it is for us.

Well, around lunch time, I received a phone call from a friend. The director was talking to this mom & was heavily considering changing the scripture back to KJV because one family had expressed concern & could not participate. Um, excuse me, did I hear her correctly? Did you read that clearly? one family - ONE FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know about you, but in the world where I live, its a rare occasion that one little voice is ever heard speaking out against the crowd. Imagine that, me, little ole me, took a stand for my beliefs, & it has affected a whole range of people. I really thought I would have to stand alone, but then I am reminded that, no matter what, God is standing with me! That's the God I serve. He just proved again that He can & will work miracles through one person.
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