Not Now Honey.......

Amidst all the errands, schoolwork, & bills, the laundry, cooking & cleaning, the ballgames, meetings, & adventures - I look around at my life. This isn't exactly where I pictured myself when I was younger, when I had big dreams of "making a difference in some one's life". I never saw myself settled down on a farm, never a stay at home mom, & certainly never married to a preacher. Thankfully, God saw different. He knew just what I needed, when I needed it. Who would have known how close to home my desire to make a difference would be? It has taken me a while to realize that I make a difference in my family's life every day.

Yes, I find myself stressed out because we are always on the go somewhere. I've realized though that so many of our obligations are because we have chosen them. No, it isn't necessary for both of my kids to play baseball & I can just imagine how much time & gas will be spent this year on that alone, but we continue because we enjoy it. Yes, this does add a little more stress to my already tipsy plate, but its ok.

As I try to find a few peaceful minutes to catch up on email or blogs, I remember that the dishes are piling up & the laundry needs folding (again?! - really, how many times do these strange people that live here change clothes?!) But then a little voice says "Mommy, will you play with me?"..............

I find myself entirely too often saying "Not now Honey, maybe later". I try to say "maybe" because I never know whats gonna happen & I don't like lying to them. Then life happens & we get busy again & before you know it, I'm tucking them in at night. Its the end of another day before I realize, I didn't take time to play with them. Did I make time yesterday? Will I find the time tomorrow?

My babies aren't babies anymore. Where has the time gone? I'll never get these moments back, but yet I know that there will be too many times when my response is "Not now Honey, maybe later"........

Hopefully as my children get older & their need for me isn't as much, I won't here those same words "Not now Mom, maybe later".