Thursday, September 26, 2013

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing ~ Just Like Starting Over

I'm a creature of habit. I like knowing what's going to happen. I like having it all wrote down in a planner.

Being a mom helped me to understand that nothing goes like you plan it to go. Being a stay at home mom taught me to taught me to roll with the punches. Being a stay at home homeschool mom made me realize that some days I should just throw my planner out the window and start over.

I don't mind spontaneity, but if I have something planned, then I expect it to happen. When it doesn't happen, I tend to get wound tight.

When we started our homeschool journey over 4 years ago, we knew there would be obstacles, difficult times, rewards, joy, sadness, fear, & all kinds of surprises.

We struggled that 1st year as Austin began the 3rd grade trying to find our way, trying to set a schedule, trying to figure out what worked & what didn't. We finally figured it out.

We struggled our 2nd year as Makenzie began Kindergarten & we welcomed Logan to our family. We finally figured it out.

We struggled our 3rd year as Austin's 5th grade work got harder, as Makenzie fought to learn to read, & as Logan became increasingly mobile. We finally figured it out.

We started our 4th year struggling again as we tried to find the balance between our homeschool needs & Austin's public school needs & as Logan becomes more curious & destructive than I have the patience to deal with on most days. We are still struggling trying to get Makenzie to read.

If I have learned anything from homeschooling so far, it has been to expect the unexpected. Things don't always go according to my plan. In fact, things usually go so far left of my plan that its not even funny.

I am having to back up & punt this year.

Makenzie is in the 2nd grade. She is a beautiful, active, loving child that would give you anything if you only asked. She loves to cheer & do cartwheels. She excels at math, but has the hardest time remembering even simple sight words.

I'm really having a hard time with this. I know deep down that this has nothing to do with me. BUT, I can't help but wonder if I had sent her to public school, would she be reading? or would she be even further behind? I can't help but look back & wonder if I could have done more to help her.

We have started ADHD evaluations with her. I'm not a doctor, but I have always seen signs & symptoms. She is also being tested for learning disabilities. They know that something is hindering her from learning to read & comprehend, but they just aren't sure what yet.

This just breaks my heart! I HATE labels! I don't want people to look at her differently. I don't want her to be considered a hard child. I don't want anyone to think she is slow or worse.

I've said from day 1 that she marched to the beat of her own drum. I've scratched my head at her randomness. I've laughed at her silly antics. I've gotten frustrated at having to repeatedly tell her to do something.

So, our 4th year of homeschooling I'm sure will continue to see struggles. But God is using this to show me that I need to change MY expectations & I need to rely more on Him.

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