Friday, July 20, 2012

But Amnon Had a Friend

How many times have we heard "But so & so is doing it"?
How many times have we said "If so & so jumped off a cliff, would you do it too"?

As parents, it is our job to lead our children in the right direction. We provide them with the best education. We look out for their safety. We sacrifice ourselves so that they can have opportunities that we didn't. We  encourage them to make the right decisions. We also try to steer them towards the right friends.

Yes, I had friends growing up that my parents didn't like. I would get so mad when they told me I shouldn't be friends with this person or that I couldn't date this boy. All too often, I didn't listen. But what teenager does listen most of the time?

Looking back, I wished that I had listened a little more. Those wayward friends, that bad boy. I've seen where some of those people have ended up & its not somewhere I needed to be.

Proverbs 13:20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise:
but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

But when do we really, actively start interceding on our children's behalves? Do we let them become close friends with the kid down the street who comes from a broken home with mixed up values? Do we let them go on playdates with families who don't share our beliefs? Do we tolerate things even though we might not like the kid or their parents? Do we allow bonding with those less fortunate?

Do we encourage friendships in the hopes of building everyone's character? Or do we discourage them in the fear of our child falling to some place that we don't approve of?

2 Samuel 13:1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister,
whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin;
and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.
3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother:
and Jonadab was a very subtil man.
4 And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day?
wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

I don't have all the answers. I just pray the best for my children in all that they do. I long for them to exhibit strong Christian morals, accept Jesus as their savior at an early age, develop long lasting true friendships, to fall deeply in love (not to soon), to be passionate about everything they do, & to make a difference in someone's life.

Its a fine line between being overbearing & intrusive versus being cautious & loving.

Can we truly lead them down the right path if we don't have an active part in their entire life?

Not too fast parents..... We need to examine our lives as well. Its far easier for someone to bring you down than for you to bring them up. Remember that when you pick the people you are around the most. Even though you may not be doing everything that your friends are doing, it won't be long before you are associated with their actions. It won't be long before you start thinking, "Hey that's not so bad". It won't be long before you start to believe that the people you used to value are suddenly "out to get you". It won't be long before nothing else matters.

Can we truly lead our children when we don't know where we are going?

Amnon seemed a fine upstanding noble man until he took his friend's advice.


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