Where does the Blame truely lie?

My get up & go has not only got up & went, but it has dissappeared entirely. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I have ZERO motivation to do much of anything.

Blame it on the baby blues!

Blame it on lack of sleep, its amazing how the body can function on a couple of 3 hr naps each night for months. Or the addition of another mouth to feed without the addition of funds to offset it, although God has certainly provided miracles in that area. Or 2 overly jealous kids & 1 very needy little boy.

Blame it on a certain 9 year old who would rather be anywhere than with me. Or who has a severe attitude anytime things go the least bit wrong.

Blame it on the "super mom" gene in me that seems to be failing in every aspect of life. Or on the fact that my house is constantly cluttered, my mountain of laundry keeps getting bigger by the second, my sink has dissappeared under the dishes, & the fact that I am out of room for anything.

Blame it on the monotany of the day - get up entirely too early, feed baby, feed kids, clean mess, start school, feed baby, lay baby down for nap, reteach math lesson, go get fussy baby, ask repeatedly "what is that word?", make snack, clean mess, back to school, make lunch, feed baby, clean mess, lay baby down, try to stay awake while reading history, ask repeatedly "is that your best work?", get baby up, clean up school, try to entertain baby & get something accomplished, do dishes, do laundry, start supper, feed baby, lay baby down for nap, clean up mess, collapse on couch for a few minutes of quite time, put kids to bed, go to bed entirely too late, promise to go to bed earlier tomorrow.

Blame it on society today that has repeatedly told us we are worthless unless we are corporate America. Or the fact that not too many people appreciate the value of a stay at home mom, much less a homeschool mom.

Blame it on having to FORCE myself to teach school right now & then second guessing everything that comes out of my mouth. Or the fact that Austin's handwriting is awful (wait, he is a boy) & he has yet to memorize those pesky multiplication tables. Or the fact that Makenzie is not reading as well as I think she should be.

Blame it on the fact that I am 30 lbs heavier than I was 2 yrs ago & I still haven't lost all the baby weight. Or the fact that I am NOT good at "dieting". Or the fact that I have 2 pairs of blue jeans that fit & I refuse to buy more when I have a whole closet full of clothes that are too little. Or the fact that I really need a Mt. Dew! Or the fact that I feel like I have aged 10 years in the past 2.

Blame it on the fact that Justin hasn't found an EMT job yet & this worries me. Or the fact that he is gone a lot trying to provide for us. Or the fact that I miss him more than I like to admit!

Blame it on whatever you want, but truly, the blame is on me. I want/need to fall back in love with my first love - God! I want/need to spend more time in His word! I want/need to become the prayer warrior that I once was! I want/need the joy of my salvation restored to me.

Ok, so now that I know/admit where to place the blame, maybe the world can start turning again! I also KNOW that I am entirely too blessed to be stressed, but sometimes, I just need to tell people what is really on my mind!

We did make it outside for a little play time this afternoon. I felt a little less burdened down after that. Its amazing how much a little sun/SON shine can brighten your mood! I am currently reading "Made To Crave" & so far so good. Iit really makes sense! I'll let you know how it turns out!

Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom

I used to think that women who stayed home with their kids had it made. I knew their was always messes to clean up & it might get a little lonely from time to time, but I never even imagined the stress, heartache, & tears that would come with it. So here today, I give you some simple truths of the insanity that I call my life.

• Jealousy is a very real factor! I admit I'm jealous......
1. I'm jealous of my husband's freeness. He can come & go as he wants to. He gets to do the fun stuff, while I have to cook, clean, do laundry, & take care of the baby. He gets to pursue things that interest him, while I'm had to drop almost everything that doesn't involve the kids. He gets to sleep late, while I have to get up early most mornings. 
2. I'm jealous of friends that can get together whenever they want to. 
3. I'm jealous of adults that actually get to eat a hot meal, sitting down, in peace.
4. I'm jealous of people that work. They can "get away" for a little while. They can afford a nice car, a bigger house, & dance classes.
5. I'm jealous of anyone who looks nice for longer than 10 mins. That's about how long I am able to keep anything from being spit up on.
6. I'm jealous of anyone who doesn't have to "rob Peter to pay Paul!" I get so tired of living paycheck to paycheck, but it has been an interesting adventure to see how much money I can save!
• Loneliness is suffered in silence.
1. Occasional adult conversation would be nice.
2. Adult conversation that doesn't always center around our kids would be even better.
• Depression is easy to fall into.
1. There are days that I can't explain why I'm mad/sad/hysterical.
2. There are days that I really just want to lay in the bed & cry.
3. There are days that I don't want to deal with anyone (especially if they are under 5 ft tall) unless they live in black & white print.
• Expectations are unrealistic.
• Alone time is unheard of. I have to lock the doors & read a book during a bubble bath in order to make an attempt at peace & quiet. Today Logan woke up early & fussed the whole time I was in the bath tub & my other wonderful children were too busy watching T.V. to go pick him up, so much for that peace!

If you can relate to this, I hope you found my confessions amusing & you realize that you are not alone. If you think I am acting spoiled & just want something to complain about, I invite you to come spend some time in my shoes!

HOW IN THE WORLD DOES MICHELLE DUGGAR DO IT??????