Revive Your Marriage - I Want to be a Farmer

I don't know about you, but I don't like to clean. I mean, I R E A L L Y don't like to clean.

I love the results of a clean house, but the effort just seems like more trouble than its worth sometimes. I spend all of this time sweeping, mopping, washing dishes, & folding laundry. Just as I sit down to enjoy the fruits of my labor, Makenzie spills a drink in the kitchen, Justin tracks dirt through the living room, Logan dumps cereal all over the rug, Austin leaves his shoes in the hall, & somehow the laundry basket is overflowing again.

Really, but I JUST CLEANED! HOW did this happen?

Even though I feel like throwing my hands up & quitting, I resolve to pick up the toys again tomorrow.

What in the world does cleaning house have to do with reviving your marriage? I'm glad you asked!

Marriage is similar to cleaning the house, tending the garden, & mowing the lawn. These are all things that need to be done. Of course, you don't HAVE to do any of this, but most people do. Sometimes we complain, sometimes we half way work at it, sometimes we put it off, sometimes we give up & start over, but most people make some sort of effort.

If we look at our marriage as another "job" that we have to do, we will never see the results we are truly looking for.

Do you know someone who is a terrible house keeper? They are constantly tripping over things left laying about. They are always misplacing things. They only clean the areas that they know other people see. The garbage has been piling up & there aren't any clean dishes in the cabinets. The place is a wreck! It would be less work to sell the place & start over. Do you like to go visit them? Me neither.

This marriage is on the verge of divorce. The couple no longer cares what goes on inside their "home". They don't see the need to make any effort any more. They think that their home is too far gone to worry about any more. What's the point, right?

Have you ever driven by somewhere & you realize that the yard has been mowed again? Does that make twice this week? I have. They live right down the road from me. They are outside in the yard every. single. day. They never rest from working on the lawn. They even pick up trash on the other side of the road because it makes their house look bad. Do they ever rest? Are they ever satisfied?

This marriage looks good to everyone. Everyone that is, except the people living it. They are always looking for something wrong. They are always trying to fix things. They even look at other marriages to compare with their own. They are looking for perfection.

Don't you just love summer gardens? Nothing beats the taste of a home grown tomato after a long hard day! Did that tomato just poof into existence? Yeah, don't we wish! Thought, preparation, time, effort, money, & sweat went into getting that ripe juicy tomato to the table. The ground had to be tilled & fertilized months in advance. The fragile plants had to be picked, handled, & planted with care. They had to be constantly watched over for too much heat, too little rain, deer, rabbits, & bugs.

When the tomatoes finally start to ripen, you have to pick them almost daily. Then, what in the world do you do with all of them? A good farmer cans them of course. Canned tomatoes, salsa, relish, spaghetti sauce, & tomato juice can all be enjoyed for months after the last plant produces if the farmer plans properly.

Even though farming is hard work, the farmer loves what he does. He can be proud of his sacrifice & share his harvest with others.

Doesn't this sound like a happy, healthy marriage? We labor day after day. We plan, prepare, protect, & provide for the ones we love. We fight for & sometimes fight with our partner. After continual effort & exhausting conditions, we get to enjoy our significant other.

Are conditions always perfect? Hah, hardly ever. Are circumstances less than ideal? Yeah, a lot of the time. But, do we give up? Or do we keep plowing away at the field while keeping the harvest in mind?

I don't know about you, but I need to spend a little more time in my garden!

Revive Your Marriage - Heads & Hearts

Have you remembered to pray for your husband this week? Have you seen a difference in your marriage? Have you seen an improvement?

Did you have good intentions to pray more but maybe you forgot or you got too busy? It's ok. This starts a whole new week & you can try harder!

But, that's not all you need to do this week. You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?

I want you to revive your attitude.

WHAT??????!!!!! There's nothing wrong with me! It's all his fault!

How many times have we said that? How many more times have we thought that?
 
But seriously, let's think about this.

Most of the time, we have a real problem admitting when something is our fault. It's so much easier to believe that we are right.

What's more is that not only is it not our fault, but we, as women, are equal to men now! No more being submissive, no more waiting on a man, no more being seen & not heard.

But, what are God's ideas about this?
Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: 

and he is the saviour of the body.

God wants us to openly admit when we mess up. He wants us to confess our faults to Him as well as admitting our mistakes to those we have wronged.

God also still desires that the man be the head of the household. This doesn't actually mean the ruler. This more of a cornerstone, the foundation.

When He put Adam & Eve together, He made Eve out of Adam's rib. He didn't pick Adam's foot so that Eve would be less important than her husband or his head so she could be in charge, but his rib so she would be close to his heart.

Think about this ladies. It is God's plan for our men to be in charge. I understand that this idea is not very popular, but most often what is right isn't what is popular.

I haven't always believed this. I didn't even want to say "love, honor, & obey" in my marriage vows. I did say those words though & I'm glad I did. God has brought my way of thinking slowly around to His way.

If this is a new thought for you, go slow.

Start with prayer. Pray for your husband. Pray for yourself. Pray that God will show you what His expectations for your marriage are. Then act on it. Be the first to apologize. Pick up his dinner plate just to be nice. Ask him if he needs anything. Rub his feet.

If your husband is truly the head of your family, then you can take your rightful place as the heart. 

Who knows, once you allow (or nudge) your husband to take his rightful place as the head of the family, God may remind you just how much you love each other!

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing ~ Distractions, Dreariness, & Doctors

Can you tell from the title of this post just how much we got accomplished this week?! Yeah, not much & I don't foresee any reason to change just for tomorrow.

Just like any other time, I started out with good intentions, but then life happens. Monday was Labor Day, so my plan was to do school but just not a full day. Well, after a few subjects, my hubby came home & we called it a day. Tuesday just as soon as we started school, a friend stopped by to talk. Of course the kids were far more interested in what we were doing than what they were supposed to be doing. Then my brother in law called needing me to watch my nephew since public school was still out. Yeah, sure. Wrap it up. The day is done.

Wednesday welcomed in a very sick baby. Logan kept a high fever all day long. He just laid around, slept, & whined. So off to the doctor we went. After checking his ears, a negative Flu test, a negative RSV test, & no other easy answer, blood was drawn & urine was taken. Let me just tell you that neither was easy! I hated having to put him through all that torture, but he was so miserable that we needed to find the root of the problem. And then he got a shot of antibiotics. UGH

I checked on him every 3 hours during the night, and thankfully, he stayed fever free. He seemed on the mend.

Today was the first meeting for Keepers of the Faith & for 4H so, I did a huge parenting "no-no" and we risked it. Logan did ok most of the day. He was still whiney, but no fever. The kids had fun. We started learning Away in a Manger in sign language for Keepers and played carnival games in 4H.

The past few days just haven't been hunky dory for me. Everything seems to keep going wrong & it just escalated today. Tear after tear has been shed today over circumstances, misunderstandings, wrong decisions, cross words, too many irons, & burdens shared.

I arrived on time (with 2 minutes to spare) for Keepers only to quickly realize that we were meeting somewhere else (A L L the way across town) so now I was 20 minutes late. We had planned to eat lunch with my dad, but that fell through due to time constraints & location, so I was scrambling at 1pm to figure out a new plan. Oh yeah, those free personal pan pizzas would be great until the employee almost dropped them. Whew, that was close, but I wasn't fast enough to stop the boxes from sliding across my seat & spilling into the floor. Ok, so at least my floor wasn't THAT dirty. So after not nearly enough time (according to the kids), we had to scramble out the door for Logan's doctor appointment.

10 minutes down the road, my "check gauges" light comes on & the thermostat is too high. Really? I don't have the time or the energy to deal with this today I pull over, call Justin & leave a message, call my father in law, & call the doctor's office to tell them I will never make it on time. After guessing that I can probably make it home, I start down the road again. I only get about another 5 minutes before I have to pull over again. This time, I wait for reinforcements. 20 minutes later, my father in law pulls up, followed shortly by my husband who was very surprised to see us considering he was also heading home from Wilkesboro and didn't know I had tried to call him.

After a few gallons of water, my Suburban was good as new.....nope, just kidding. But I did make it home & then back & forth to Logan's doctor. If you are new on the scene, you have missed to 3 months (A L L summer) that my Suburban was in the shop getting a brand new engine & costing us over $2300. Then after being home for 3 days, it needing a new water pump.....yeah, well, it obviously needs another new water pump. At least it was still under warranty.

Man does my head hurt!

In the midst of all this junk & my woe is me party, I saw a bunch of geese in the pond on my road & God reminded me how He takes care of the sparrows & that He knows my every need before I even ask for it.

^{Matthew 2:26 "}Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?"

Revive Your Marriage - The Marriage Project

I just found out I won a giveaway over at Joyful Mothering. Yeah, I'm so excited! I never win anything.

This is perfect timing, since we have all just started working to revive our marriages. I have been watching all the posts on Facebook about The Husband Project but I haven't read the book yet, so I'm slightly in the dark. Christin Slade was giving away one of four different books on her blog. They all looked like helpful ideas, but God knew that I needed The Marriage Project most.

I can't wait to get my hands on this & start using it!

Revive Your Marriage - Are You Up To The Challenge

I guess I should have started here, but yet again, I got a little ahead of myself. Oh well....

When I happened across this link, I decided I would take a few minutes to participate in the Revive Your Marriage blogger series during the month of September. After I read more about it & read a few of the posts that were being written from the heart, I knew I needed to ACTIVELY participate in this challenge.

This can not just be looked upon as another blogger opportunity. This is an open request from God. I haven't been able to get the thoughts concerning it out of my head.

I had already been dwelling on my marriage lately & how I might could improve our relationship even before I came across this challenge. Now, I'm not saying there is anything "wrong" with my marriage, but sometimes we all get in a rut & get caught up just living day to day without taking much thought about what or why we do things.

We, as mothers, put so much effort into our kids, that too often we lose sight of our husbands. If it were not for our husbands (usually), we wouldn't have our kids. After all, God created Adam & Eve first. Then sometime later came Cain & Able. Dwell on that thought for a few minutes. If God had wanted us to put ALL of our energy into our children, don't you think He would have created them first or at least at the same time. 

I know so many couples that rarely ever take dates anymore without their kids. When they do, they find that they don't have anything to talk about. That amazes me. What did you talk about when you were dating? How good he looked? How much you loved him? Hey, guess what, tell him. He still wants to hear it. What are you going to talk about when the kids are grown & have lives of their own?

You claim that you & your husband don't share the same interests anymore. Did you really share the same interests back then? No, but we made an effort to do things just to please each other. He's loves football, but you can't stand it. Take a few minutes to curl up on the couch beside him. Its ok, you don't have to like it, but show some effort that you want to be with him.

I also know several "couples" (& I use the term loosely) that choose to stay together out of comfort & simplicity instead of love. My heart breaks for them. Living a life of habit is no way to really live. When one person wants to make it work, but the other is determined to do whatever they please, only misery can follow.

Remember who the man was that used to make your heart flutter? He's still there. Hey guess what, the woman that used to drive him wild is still there too. Somehow, they have gotten lost under too many take out dinners, nights of falling asleep in the recliner, & taking turns shuttling the kids between activities. You just need to find those people again. Years of comfort & routine tend to make us forget why we started this journey in the first place.

Is this still the man you want to grow old together with? Or are you secretly longing for a way out? Are you satisfied with your everyday life? If not, check in with me periodically throughout the month as we try to encourage each other to improve life as we know it.

Every Monday, we will be addressing a different topic, so share your thoughts, your progress, & your growth.

September 3rd – Revive Your Prayers

September 9th – Revive Your Attitude

September 16th – Revive Your  Friendship

September 23rd - Revive Your Praise

September 30th - Revive Your Sex Life

I challenge you this month to step out of your comfort zone. Step away from your routine. Open yourself up to something bigger & better than what you are now. Take a deep breathe, think about where you are & where you would like to be.

Revive Your Marriage - When All Else Fails, Pray

I must admit that I take my marriage for granted. I'm sure that I'm not the only one either.

I know that Justin loves me with all his heart & I know that I love him with all my heart, but do I tell him enough? Do I show him enough?

When I saw this blog series, I KNEW it was something that I needed! I need help bringing back the spark in my marriage. I need help remembering all the things I love about him. I need to be reminded why I was so crazy about him all those years ago.

I am going to make a more conscious effort to pray for Justin this week. I want to put his needs in front of mine for a little while.

I know that we live crazy busy lives & I have so many things going through my head at any given moment. But Justin has a lot on his mind as well. He has a family to provide for financially, physically, emotionally, & spiritually. He has a congregation to lead & encourage. He has a career to continue, classes to attend, & boys to coach. He also has an example to set.

Won't you join me in praying this week? Pray for me as I pray for my husband. Most importantly, pray for your husband & your marriage as well.

Its sad that as I was looking for a photo to share on this post, this was one of the few I found. Don't get me wrong, I love this picture, BUT it was taken 2 years ago. Maybe (hopefully) I will have a few more before this month is up! ;)

James 5:16 "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

He's Still Working on Me

I have an old VBS t-shirt that says He's still working on me. I like to drag it out every now & then as a reminder that "it took Him just a week to make the moon & the stars, the sun & the earth, Jupiter & Mars. How loving & patient He must be because He's still working on me."

On any given day that you swing by my house, I can assure you that you might find cookies & cereal crushed up on the floor, toys recklessly abandoned, the contents of a drawer haphazardly emptied, books scattered all over the table & most likely the couch as well, dirty dishes in the sink, the trash can over flowing, last nights pot still on the stove with the remains of supper still in it, the kitchen floor in desperate need of mopping,  several loads of laundry covering my bed, several more loads hiding my bathroom floor waiting to be washed, 4 pairs (or more) of shoes just begging to be tripped over on the front porch, Logan in his pajama shirt & diaper, Austin without his shirt on, Makenzie with her hair in knots, & me with my hair falling out of the half attempted pony tail. And most of the time, you will notice many of these things, if not all of them, at the same time.

I love company and I welcome you to stop by, but if you want to save your sanity & enjoy a peaceful environment, you might want to call first. Um, 2 weeks before you want to come over should be sufficient. At least then, we can all be dressed & presentable & I can have a pathway cleared to the couch. I might even find room for both of us to sit down on it. But, if you are brave of heart & don't scare too easily, then, by all means, live dangerously & come on over!

God has a lot of work left to do with me. I want to spend more time in prayer, studying my Bible, playing with my kids, & teaching them life lessons. I want time alone with my husband & time alone by myself. I want to squeeze in those 3 miles again during the baby's nap. I want to enjoy the beauty in simplicity & lose myself in a book. I want a vacation & a bigger house. I have a business that needs tending, hairbows that need creating, tutus that need making, & a blog that needs writing. I have meals to cook, everything to dust, laundry to wash, shirts to iron, coupons to clip,  & groceries to buy. I have animals that need feeding, a yard that needs flowers, a pond that needs filling, & ants that need killing. I have football games to attend & cheerleaders to coach. I have diapers that must be changed, a 7th birthday party to plan, & a 10 year old attitude that needs adjusting. I have a new congregation of people looking for support from their pastor's wife. I have lessons to plan, devotions to read, & Contenders to lead. I have bills to be paid & not nearly enough money to cover our needs & our wants. I have friends to see & memories to make. I have burdens to bear & encouragement to give.

As you can see, I have a lot on my plate & no where near enough room for it. God has a purpose for my insanity. He is working a miracle in my life. I can't see the final picture now, but I know, one day, I will finally become all that He wants me to be. Until then, don't expect perfection because you won't find it here. Love me for who I am, with all of my faults & failures.