I would if I could

I know a lot of people who would do just about anything for anyone.

How many times have we wanted to make someone see things our way?

How many times have we wanted to save someone from learning things the hard way?

I feel certain that many Christians would give anything if they could pray someone else's hurt away. They would give anything if they fix other people's problems. They would give anything if they could pray someone into Heaven.

Paul went as far in Romans 9:3 to say "For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsman according to the flesh".

Simply put, here was a man who considered himself the chief of all sinners and he knew how fortunate he was to experience God's grace, but he was willing to give it all up if only his family and his friends would accept Jesus.

I have always thought that Paul was a little extreme when I heard this verse. I mean, could I give up my salvation just so someone else, who wasn't a believer by choice could go to Heaven? I don't think I could.

Then we were having a conversation with our oldest about his behavior. He has been having so many attitude and behavior issues lately, we don't know which one to focus on first.

Austin claimed salvation when he was 5 years old. I know that is very young, but I also know that God is able. We have held onto the promise that if he wasn't saved, that God would show him in time & save him.

Only Austin & God know the truth & I am not, for a minute, going to place doubt in that youngin's heart, but it's time for some soul searching. It's time for him to reconnect and allow God to work in his life. It's time for him to stop trying to embrace the world so much.

As we were having this conversation, it dawned on me that if I could trade my salvation in order to make sure that my children were saved and went to Heaven, I would.

The thought of my babies dying and going to Hell, rocked me to my core. I can't imagine having to stand by and watch as loved ones and friends are bound hand & foot & cast into the lake of fire. I can't imagine the pain, the tears, the agony, the despair, the accusations, the pleading, the horror that will take place at the White Throne Judgement.

Only God can save our loved ones. Only our loved ones can choose to accept God's grace.

We say we would do anything for them to get saved before its too late. We say we would give anything if only they would turn from their wicked ways.

We can do something to help them. We can PRAY! We can live our lives as an example for others. We can beg God for His mercy. We can never give up!

It Was on a Wednesday....

...Somebody Touched Me!

You've heard the song "Glory Glory Glory, Somebody Touched Me". Its a fun song that the kids love to sing. It goes through the days of the week one by one and people stand up as the day they were saved is mentioned. Hopefully by the end of the song, everyone is standing & singing!

I am thankful to say that God is still saving souls & touching lives!

My precious daughter asked Jesus to save her on Wednesday January 2, 2013.

Makenzie is only 7 years old, but she has a heart of gold. She has been asking questions & wondering when she could be saved. We have always answered that she would know when Jesus decided it was her turn. Salvation is such a sensitive, personal decision that we didn't want to do anything to influence her.

I am still praising God over His goodness & mercy!

Christmas Isn't Always Merry

For the 2nd morning in a row, I have woke up around 4am. Yesterday, I tried my best to ignore it. I laid in the bed tossing & turning. I even managed to doze off a few times. But I sure was in a bad mood when I finally got up. I don't take kindly to lack of sleep.

Then again this morning. I laid in bed for a little while, but this time, my mind was running wide open. All of a sudden, I had 2 or 3 people that I just could not get out of my head. God was wanting my attention & my prayers.

I planned on getting up early anyway so I could be ready for Christmas before the kids woke up. I just hadn't planned on that early.

While I was praying for these people, more & more names & faces came to mind. An overwhelming sadness drifted across my heart at the empty places that will be in homes this morning - children, parents, brother, sisters, grandparents, friends. No doubt far too many of those missing loved ones have presents wrapped under a tree.

Each & every one of us have experienced grief in our lives & no doubt will suffer through more before our time on earth is over.

While you take extra time to embrace your kids, spouses, & loved ones, please continue to pray for those staring at empty places. Those holes left in our hearts have a hard time being repaired.

God bless you & yours on this blessed Christmas morning!

Revive Your Marriage - When All Else Fails, Pray

I must admit that I take my marriage for granted. I'm sure that I'm not the only one either.

I know that Justin loves me with all his heart & I know that I love him with all my heart, but do I tell him enough? Do I show him enough?

When I saw this blog series, I KNEW it was something that I needed! I need help bringing back the spark in my marriage. I need help remembering all the things I love about him. I need to be reminded why I was so crazy about him all those years ago.

I am going to make a more conscious effort to pray for Justin this week. I want to put his needs in front of mine for a little while.

I know that we live crazy busy lives & I have so many things going through my head at any given moment. But Justin has a lot on his mind as well. He has a family to provide for financially, physically, emotionally, & spiritually. He has a congregation to lead & encourage. He has a career to continue, classes to attend, & boys to coach. He also has an example to set.

Won't you join me in praying this week? Pray for me as I pray for my husband. Most importantly, pray for your husband & your marriage as well.

Its sad that as I was looking for a photo to share on this post, this was one of the few I found. Don't get me wrong, I love this picture, BUT it was taken 2 years ago. Maybe (hopefully) I will have a few more before this month is up! ;)

James 5:16 "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

A Higher Calling

We reached another milestone today. Justin became an ordained preacher.

Even though ordination is mostly a man made notion, we still seek after this service as an additional approval while serving God & our fellow man.

When Justin accepted his call to preach a little over 4 years ago, we knew that one day we would have to leave our comfort zone to follow God.

We have always talked about all the options out there, but never felt lead anywhere in particular.

When our pastor's health began to decline, Justin knew he needed to look into getting ordained. He wanted Fellman to be a big part of his ordination. At the time, we didn't really have any other motive than to have the memories of Fellman being there.

Surprisingly (to us, at least), as soon as the process was begun, God started working all around us. There was talk of a possible position at another church. This idea had been bounced around for a while, but no one really took it serious. But maybe we should.....

God had other ideas. He knew of a little church that needed something. He knew of a country preacher & his family that needed something. God knew that by bringing these two groups together, bigger & better things could occur if only we would let it.

I know that Justin is nervous as we start a new chapter. He is not "used" to preaching 3 times a week. I know that I am nervous. I have NO IDEA how to be a "pastor's wife". I believe that the kids are nervous. They are leaving a church they love for one where they don't really know the people.

Pray for Unity Baptist Church as Justin serves as their interim pastor for as long as they will have us & as long as God sees fit. Pray for us all as we try to follow God.

Some Lessons are Harder than Others

It has been a rainy dreary day.

Both outside & in.

Today has N O T been a good day.

I realize that its the middle of May & the longing of summer has set in. I also realize that restlessness has set in. Unrest with the kids & unrest with myself as well.

Motivation & diligence are not at the top of the food chain at the present moment. Although, they REALLY need to be.

The actual academic part to our learning is not suffering too much right now, considering that summer is just around the bend. But, I'm afraid that the spiritual training is suffering right now. Its all too evident with the attitudes that have been reflected recently.

But, its not only the kids who have been lacking in the fruits of the spirit. I certainly have too. And that seems to be rubbing off on them.

Although I KNOW from experience that my day runs so much smoother by starting it in prayer & study, somehow here lately, I have to MAKE myself study. And even then, it feels half hearted. I suppose I have too many irons in the fire again. I need to slow down, yet again & let the Lord lead me.

After a few fits, lots of tears, banishment to bedrooms, & an ice cold shower (a fire has not been built since yesterday, so there wasn't any hot water), I was gently reminded of the really important lessons in life.

The Busy Homeschool Mom posted this picture.

Luke 6:40 "The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master."

How scary is that? I am the main teacher, witness, & example that my kids are to follow. There are some days (entirely too many) that I don't want them to follow my lead. I don't want them to see my shortcomings & my sinful nature.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

BUT, how awesome is the promise that as long as we try, God will take care of the rest. I'm thankful that God knows my heart & He rewards my effort. I pray that I am able to use my mistakes for my good & for His glory.

I Cheated

Yes, that's right! You are looking at (lol) someone who has never liked to play by the rules!

My dear pastor's wife requested that no one come visit him so he could rest before the surgery & a couple of weeks after the surgery. I understand her concern for his well being, but Justin & I both felt that we NEEDED to go. Plus when Justin talked to Fellman last night, he told us to come see him, so how could we resist!

We TRIED to make it short, really we did, but anyone who has ever visited with Fellman Cheek knows that you could talk to that man FOREVER & not even realize how much time had passed.

I'm glad we went. I took the time to tell Fellman just how much I love & appreciate him & what he has been in my life, the influence he has had on me, & the joy I get just knowing my kids get to sit under him. All of this was said, barely audible & through tears, of course. If you know Fellman, you know his response ..... picture it with me ..... "To God be the Glory!".

I feel at peace now. I have faith that God's hand will be on the surgeons & will guide them. I believe that no matter what His will is being carried out even as I write.

It was a sweet time of fellowship & I will always treasure the time I got to spend with him.

PLEASE keep praying for him. They are starting the surgery around 8am in the morning.

Thank You for Giving to the Lord

My heart is heavy, my mind is full, & my eyes are swollen.

As I sit staring out at this Super Moon, I can't help but think about how awesome our God is, how perfect His will is, how much He loves us, & how I don't understand any of!

I have an urgent prayer request. The man that has been my pastor the majority of my life is facing a 5 way bypass on Monday morning. The majority of his arteries are at least 90% blocked. The electrical system in his heart is not working properly. The Drs must take his heart out of his body in order to repair it.

I know that drs are very smart people & they can do amazing things, but without God intervening, drs are useless. And the best drs know this.

Fellman Cheek is the ONLY man I have ever met who could whip you from the pulpit just like he knew exactly every sin you had ever commuted & then tell you he loved you & YOU KNEW IT! He is the most Godly man I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

He has had a long life. I know he isn't perfect, but I believe that he has lived his life as best he could serving God. I believe that God will welcome him into His arms & say "Well done, thou good and faithful servant". I believe that he will have numerous crowns to lay at Jesus' feet. I believe that many people will come to him signing "Thank you for giving to the Lord".

I can't help but be a little jealous of Fellman, knowing that if something goes wrong according to man's plan, God's plan will be fulfilled & he will be shouting in Heaven. But I am also very selfish. I'M NOT READY for him to leave this world. I'M NOT READY for him to no longer be my pastor. I'M NOT READY for another saint to gain their wings.

Who will help us teach our children? Who will minister to me? Who will be bold enough to stand up to a lost & dying world? Who will have compassion enough to tell them about the Lord?

Will/Can this Cycle Ever Be Broken?

I was so beyond excited this year after I filed our taxes. We usually get back a decent refund because we always opt to allow the government to have a loan at our expense & having 3 kids doesn't hurt either ;) So this year was no different.

When I found out the amount, I immediately made BIG plans! Well, big to us anyway. We were going to get to PAY OFF 4 small bills! Anytime anything is paid off is cause for celebration. This in turn was going to free up a decent chunk of money each money that in turn was going to be paid onto this stupid bill that we have had since we got married! And after almost 13 years, that bill would be paid off by the end of the year! WOW!

You can see my cause of excitement, right?!

Not so fast darling........... That's what I get for making plans!

It seems that these small little inconvenient noises that my beloved PAID FOR Suburban has been making lately are going to cost more that its really worth to fix. UGH! Its fine for now, but who knows what will happen down the road.

Really, REALLY?!

We just freed up some money & now we are looking at having to go back into debt. I guess (thinking positive) its a good thing we paid those bills off. But this just makes me SICK!

For one, I am not ready to trade cars. I have liked vehicles before, but have never cared one way or the other about holding onto them. I actually really like my Suburban!

For two, I really want to do God's will concerning not just a new car but debt in general. This is not something I take lightly anymore.

Praying that God drops the right car in my lap!

Anyone want to buy a nice Suburban in need of a little TLC?

And That Has Made all the Difference

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


I have always liked this poem by Robert Frost. It screams adventure & individuality. It proves that it is ok not to be like everyone else.

While growing up, it is a very big deal to "fit in", be popular, & part of the cool crowd. Even as adults, we still don't want to rock the boat too much. We are afraid to be considered strange or a social outcast.

I am glad though, that I am different. Jesus made us as Christians to be a "peculiar people". 1 Peter 2:9 says:

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;

The definition of peculiar means different, special, or set apart. If we are truly acting as Christians, then we are distinctive & we do stand out.

I started dwelling on this early today.

I'm not crazy about getting up early in the morning. Its not hard for me to wake up, I just choose to stay up entirely too late. But, I know that I need to get up early. I know that this is something that God desires of me. I need to start my day in prayer & studying His word. I WANT to do this, but its so easy to go back to sleep.

I didn't set the alarm last night. I thought, "if God wants me up, He will wake me up." YEP, He was paying attention & answered this prayer even though I didn't actually "pray" it. Logan woke up at 6:15 to nurse. I chuckled to myself when I looked at the clock because he had been asleep since around 12:30! That's almost unheard of in his little world! So I smiled & thanked God for waking me up.

I had a WHOLE HOUR to study God's word, pray, & do some recreational reading before Austin's alarm went off. I hadn't even told him to set it. 

Thanks to this special time this morning, our day has went off without a hitch. We have gotten a lot accomplished & everyone has been well behaved (for the most part). My heart has been filled with thanksgiving & joy all day! PLEASE remind me why I don't just give in & do this every morning! 

I look forward to that road less traveled!

As For Me & My House

We have been working really hard these past few weeks to "fix things", all sorts of things - homeschool, household relations, eating habits, free time activities. All sorts of things.

When I say "fix", I don't mean that we are fixing it. I mean that WE have been trying to do it for far too long! We have left God out of entirely too many decisions & have just been drifting along seemingly without rhyme or reason. We have known this for some time but haven't really been ready to do anything about it.

BUT that has all changed this week!

Its amazing how quickly things get out of hand when God is not in charge. So we have finally allowed/begged God to lead our home again.

Along with this, Justin HAS to be the head of our house. He always has been, but we are respecting that even more now.

There needs to be a lot more Bible, praying, & kind words with a lot less TV, computer, & unthoughtful actions. There also needs to be a lot more laughter, tickling, & playing & a lot less fussing, bitterness, & complaining.

We are a family! Its time we started acting more like one.

Once we allow God to restore the proper order of things, our house will thrive. It will not always be easy but God will reward our obedience & encourage our efforts. The devil will be fighting all that much harder, but if the devil is fighting my family, it means he is trying to stop whatever progress we are making. It means that we are doing something right! With God's help, we will win this battle.

....And as an extra added encouragement, we watched Courageous last night. If you have not had the privilege to see this movie yet, I urge you to. It is fantastic!

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15

Train up a child...

Today's generation absolutely breaks my heart. I know that I didn't always make the smartest decisions as a young person (& still don't from time to time), but I had respect for authority most of the time & a fear of God even when I wasn't living right. What happened to that time of respect & reverence when the town drunk made an effort to be in church on Sunday mornings, even if he had been out all night on Saturday, when you turned your music down driving by a church, when you listened to your elders (even if only until you were out of sight)?

I'll tell you what happened, parents started doing a lot more things than they used to do. They started trying to be a friend instead of a parent. They started chasing "the American Dream", working longer hours, & allowing their children to raise themselves. They started worrying about everyone else's opinions on their parenting skills. They started trying to make their kids cooler, better dressed, & more popular than they were. They started "giving in" & buying affection because it was easier than actually paying attention.

Parents have also stopped doing lots of things as well. Parents stopped having an active role in their children's lives. They stopped showing respect for other people. They stopped making their children mind. They stopped standing up for what was right. They stopped believing that church was important. They stopped allowing God to be the center of their lives.

I was flipping through Facebook & landed on someone's page a few weeks ago & couldn't believe what I was seeing. I haven't been able to get it out of my head since then. Children ~ yes, if you are under 18 you are still a child!! ~ living in all different aspects of sin. Children, who were raised in church, venturing out & experimenting with the world. Children with no respect for themselves or anyone else.

Then, as I kept looking, I came across one of the mistakes that we, as parents, are always making. We think that if we will just continue to overlook our children's wrong doings & accept them for who they are, everything will be all peachy. I found this verse posted very close to inappropriate behavior. "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." 1 Tim 4:12

I'm not sure if that parent really put any thought into this or was just looking for a bible verse that slap on a picture (no, I am not judging). This child is openly making a mockery of God & the parent is wanting them to enjoy life & be an example to others.

Is there any wonder that our children are so confused?

The really sad part here is that this family is not the only one living life this way. Oh, I pray that parents will wake up & retake control of their homes. I pray that God continues to show mercy to us all!

Its 3am & Its Raining

It is 3am & I am W I D E awake. I had the alarm set for 3:30. Why you may ask? No, its not Black Friday shopping .... although, I won't be getting much sleep then either. My little Logan has to be at Brenner's at 6am. WOW! I'm sorry, that's really early for me to be up, dressed, & presentable. At least with Black Friday shopping, I can roll out of bed & put on a hat.

Yes, 6am, which means I have to leave my house around 4:45 .... "just in case". So, I took my shower before I went to bed, but I had to allow extra time to pump his milk. You see, lack of sleep is not even the bad part. I'm used to that. I have to keep my baby from eating when he wakes up. Ug  - really? That kid still wakes up every 2 hours to nurse! And all I can give him after midnight is clear liquids. Yea, so far he's not real sure what he thinks of Pedialyte, but he knows its not momma!

So anyway ... back to why......



I sure hope I see that smile today!



When Logan was born, we had to put off his circumcision because he also has a condition called chordee (caution-link has "adult" material) that needed to be corrected. His was very minor & should be easy to correct but he needed to be 5-6 months old.

Apparently this is a very common problem, but if its not corrected he can have lots of issues later in life. We all know that men don't need anything else to complain about in that area.

Oh, this is NOT going to be a fun day! So say a little prayer for us today! Pray for the Dr's steady hand, for my peace, & for Logan's comfort!

Naturally, as I started typing, I couldn't get this song out of my head.

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing ~ Acceptance, Admittance, & Adjustments

I have been struggling so much this school year. I have no problem admitting that. I feel like I am still in - what I call - "survival mode". Most days, I am doing just enough to get by & its starting to catch up with me. Even though Logan has gotten on a decent routine, I am still getting up with him 2-4 times a night. That can really wreck havoc on what little bit of common sense & judgement that I may have previously claimed to have had.

Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT complaining, I'm just stating the facts.

I've felt that "something" wasn't quite right, but I just couldn't put my finger on it to begin with. After some deep thought - ok, maybe not so deep, but lots of thinking & searching - I realized that my heart just wasn't into part of our curriculum. I couldn't make our unit studies work. I'm not sure if it was me or if it just didn't fit us, but  e v e r y s i n g l e d a y  was a struggle to get through it. I kept thinking that I would get the hang of it, I kept wanting to make it through Christmas, but deep down, I knew we needed to change.

Sooooo ...... I bit the bullet & returned to the history curriculum we used last year. Tapestry of Grace is a 4 year rotation & we started out with year 2 because I was part of a co-op & that's what they used. We enjoyed it last year, but I guess I needed to venture out & see what else there was.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to buy Apologia for science right at this moment, so I am having to make due. Hopefully by Christmas, we will be able to swing it.

Sunday morning, I spent my extra hour laying in the bed thinking........... I knew when we set out on this homeschool adventure that I really didn't want to teach high school. Unless God completely changed my mind, we would send the kids back to public school when they got older. BUT, Sunday morning, I could NOT get middle school out of my head. This scares me to death! This only gives me another year and a half with Austin at home! Have I made any difference in this short amount of time? Will he have trusted God enough to stand up for his beliefs? Has he really learned ANYTHING?

I just want to follow God's lead for our family! Please pray for us!

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing ~ Week 8 ~ Music, Meltdowns, & More

WHERE is that big yellow bus & WHY is it not stopping at my house?!?!

Yes, last week (at least the beginning) was THAT bad!!!

One day, I believe it was Wednesday, I had finally reached my breaking point. I slammed my pencil on the table, said "I quit", & locked myself in the bedroom. I held Logan for an hour & cried my eyes out!

I felt a little better when I returned from my black hole. I was REALLY starting to doubt my curriculum choice for this year. It just seems that I have been fighting an uphill battle with baby oil on my shoes. But, I started rethinking & I started praying & saw some areas that needed to be adjusted, so hopefully next week will be better!

THANKFULLY, Friday was my saving grace & it went very well! I had already sent out the alarm for reinforcements & had some prayer warriors on the fighting line with me! Prayer really does make a difference!

So anyway, we finished up our unit on paying attention with music, instruments, & composers. They are still getting composers & conductors confused, oh well.

The highlight of the week was going to the fair on Tuesday night - in the rain - to see how Austin & Makenzie had placed with their crafts. Austin won 3 1st place ribbons (well, technically, the bird feeder was both of theirs!), 1 2nd place, & 1 3rd place. Makenzie won 2 1st place & 1 2nd place ribbons. They were soooo excited!