Sunday, June 26, 2011

Pardon me while I rant for a few minutes!

Its no secret that my mom & I don't have the best relationship. Although, if you were to talk to her, she would say that it was great. I guess we all choose to live in our own little world & to remember & believe what we want to. And all too often, my memories & my beliefs don't line up quite right with hers.

This particular aggravation actually started a few years back & has recently escalated to the point where I'm not sure how I feel anymore.

I guess that since I am an only child, my mom automatically figured I would only have one child as well. She was never excited about mine & Justin's decision to increase our family size. And even after 5 years, she still favors Austin. I'm sure that she loves Makenzie, but.... its not quite the same. When I lost the baby 2 years ago, she was adamant that we were finished with children. Um, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I needed her permission to do anything anymore. I even asked her one time if she thought I was that bad of a mother!

Anyway, when we found out I was pregnant again, I dreaded telling her (I have dreaded telling her each time!). Most women are overjoyed & want their mother's to know as soon as possible. Oh well, yet again, that knocks me out of "most women". When I told her, the only thing she said was "Well, was it planned?". (Uh, yes mom, I'm married & I got pregnant on purpose)......Talk about disappointment..........

It took her another 6 weeks before she even mentioned it again!

Where's the joy? Where's the excitement? Where's the love?

During my whole pregnancy, she barely acknowledged anything about it. Then, towards the very end, she started getting a little "lovey"...... at least in front of other people. I thought, hey maybe she's coming around.

The weekend before Logan was born, I told everyone that if I went into labor in the middle of the night, I wasn't going to call. Our family was ok with that except my mom. She got mad.  I tried to explain that there was nothing for them to do except sit around & wait. She said that since she was there for the other 2, she wanted to be there this time as well. I decided right then & there that I would wait as long as possible before calling her.

When my doctor made the plans to induce me, I let everyone know & asked that no one come to the hospital until late afternoon. Amazingly, my mom was ok with this.

Well, lo & behold, Logan made his grand appearance before anyone got to the hospital. I was very thankful because that made the whole labor process easier on me. I didn't have to "entertain" through contractions like I did with Austin & Makenzie.

Justin called everyone to share the news & everyone said they would be on their way. Over an hour passed & my parents still hadn't showed up so I called my dad. He still hadn't left yet because mom wanted him to go to town & pay a bill ...... talk about mood swings! She pitched a fit wanting to be there & then made my dad wait just so she could make a payment. OK, whatever!

She acted strange the whole time at the hospital as well, like she was pouting, but I just took it in stride because THIS WAS MY DAY & NO ONE was going to ruin it!

My dad came back to see us the next day (Friday), but my mom wasn't with him. Austin & Makenzie were spending the night at their house.

On Saturday, my dad brought the kids home, but, yet again, my mom wasn't with him. When I talked to her, she said that she hadn't had any sleep, so she wasn't coming over. SHE HADN'T HAD ANY SLEEP! I'm the one with a newborn! Do you REALLY think that I got much sleep?!?! And then she actually asked me if it was OK that she didn't come over...... What did she want from beg? I quit "needing" her a long time ago!

Fast Forward ...... Austin & Makenzie went back over to dad's house yesterday (Saturday). When he brought them home, my mom actually decided to come with him this time. Oh, & to top it all off, she only stayed about 20 minutes!!! It has been a week & a half!

Most grandparents cannot get enough of their grandchildren, especially when they are little! But my mother, who only lives 30 minutes away - so that's not a valid excuse, has seen Logan less than 2 hours in a total of 9 days!

I just don't get it!

OK, so now, that's off my chest, & my crazy life can resume .......
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