Hello Juvenile Delinquent

I have wrestled with whether or not to post this one. Usually I'm an open book, no holds barred type of person. But this subject, while it could easily happen to any one of you, will probably cause lots of talk. So welcome to another edition of my less than perfect life...

As some of you know, there was an "incident" with Austin earlier this month. Now, my oldest isn't a fighter by nature, but he isn't one to back down either...ever. As we are learning, he can certainly hold his own. Long story short: a friend of Austin's started it, Austin finished it, resulting with the friend needing medical attention & glue.

Its never a good day when the school shows up on my caller id. But what started out as dread, turned into full fledged panic with more questions than answers.

Since there was "serious injury", the county, NOT the school or the other family, HAD to press charges. Because of a situation that started out as nothing more than boys being boys, now both of these 12 year old BOYS were being charged with misdemeanor assault!

Great...now I have a juvenile delinquent. At 16, sure maybe, but 12!!!

After the shock wore off, talking to the other family (who we are also friends with), and getting a few more answers, we were able to try to laugh about the whole incredible ordeal.

Even through the jokes, worry still remained. What would the juvenile protection services say, would there be long term repercussions, counseling, community service, worse?

After 10 L O N G days, we finally had our meeting. Since this was his first offense, all went well & the case was dismissed.

I think part of her job is to scare the pants off of kids.

While talking with this woman, we learned so many shocking things.

Did you know that the school refers every case involving fights, weapons, & drugs? EVERY ONE OF THEM! Including 6 year olds who through something across the room!!!

At any given time, there are 250 children (under 16 - because 16 is legally an adult here in NC) in this county on probation! REALLY??!!??!! Is that necessary?!

It shocks me to think that the school no longer wants any part of trying to help children that truly need help. While our case was nothing in the grand scheme of it all, I just can't imagine what some of these families go through just because the powers that be don't want to deal with it.

If my oldest child, who is not, nor ever has been, a saint, gets into another fight, whether he starts it or just defends himself, (which let's face facts, most boys do fight) he will be right back in that office facing stricter consequences.

Its a sad time we live in folks. Children can no longer be children, they can't try to settle things between themselves, they can no longer take up for themselves, without threats of legal action looming over their heads.

Of yeah, and my juvenile delinquent goes to church, plays football, wrestles, makes good grades, plays guitar, rides dirt bikes, & ties bow-ties just for fun!

Goodbye 2014 & Praying for 2015

With the new year upon us, I like to look back on all that transpired during 2014. I can say, with all honesty that we faced things we have never faced before. We experienced new joys, higher highs, & lower lows. Through it all, we are still BLESSED!

2014 brought with it a brand new business, Freedom Fire & Safety, that we are slowly building to its great potential. It brought the best year yet for Blessed Boutique. It brought a new car (finally), parenting struggles, the death of my grandfather, the resignation of a church, a FULLY self employed year (which scares the daylights out of me as tax time gets closer). It brought, not once or twice, but three occasions that brought my mom to church. It brought not one, but two, Super Bowl championships to my children. It brought the opportunity to hear, meet, & shake the hand of one of my favorite singers. It brought new friendships, while others ended. And hopefully, it brought my family closer to each other & to God than ever before.

One of the (many) things that I regret about this past year is the fact that I didn't write nearly as much as I have in the past (only 41 posts in 2014 compared to over 150 in 2013). I just had so many tangled emotions that I felt were best left unsaid at the time. But hopefully 2015 will bring clarity & freedom with it.

We did see 2014 out with a bang & a prayer. We started revival last night at Maple Springs (which will continue through Friday! Come join us!!) then prayed in the New Year at a friend's house. And what New Year's celebration is complete (at least around here) without fireworks & gun shots!

Now a few of my favorite posts from this past year. These have nothing to do with number of views, comments, etc. These are the ones I enjoyed the most, the ones I learned the most from, the ones that moved me to tears.

The one that surprised me the most this year was Weary Mom, I feel You It honestly started out as a venting session. I was so aggravated the day I wrote it, but I had no idea just how many people would need to hear they are not alone!

Another special one was Leaps & Bounds. She's still growing & I'm so thankful for that!

100 Happy Days wasn't one of my favorite "blog posts" but the result of it was. That simple post, that simple decision, brought with it an entire summer of purposefully looking for something EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. to make me smile. Some days, I had several things to share, some days, I struggled to find just one. But I faithfully posted a picture to my Instagram about being happy for 100 days!

I Wonder What He's Thinking reminded me just how similar parenting must be to God trying to direct our paths.

Country Must be Country Wide was special just because it had so many fun memories with it! And I have never been featured on someone's website before!!

And of course, no year would be complete without all the fun adventures of Twinkle the elf. So check out all the insanity that the Elf on the Shelf brings with it.

Finally So I Write tells the dark side of me.

I hope that you enjoyed sharing 2014 with us. My goal is that something I said made you laugh, cry, grow, shake your head, or empathize with not just me, but those around you as well. I pray that 2015 will be your (and my) best year ever!

Love you all!!

I Wonder What He's Thinking

Its been far too long. I've had several things on my mind & on my heart, but not the words or the desire to express them.

But tonight, its like a flood gate has been opened up. Its funny. That's how it always comes, when I know that God is using me to tell a story.

I learned something tonight. Well, its not the first time that I've been "taught" this lesson, but it was a gentle reminder that stopped me in my tracks.

While having a discussion with Austin tonight, I was forced to stand my ground. We have always taught our children that when they start something, they will finish it. If, after its over, they never want to do that thing again, then its fine. But we are not quitters. When we make a commitment, we stick to it. Other people are counting on us. We need to be dependable.

Tears were cried, voices were raised, words that weren't meant were said, but when it was all over & done, we were able to hug, apologize, & say I love you.

It was in those moments as I was calling out to God for direction, guidance, & strength that Austin came back to me. I cried even harder as my baby, who is no longer a baby, my baby, who is taller than me now, laid his head on my chest & cried as he hugged me & apologized.

My heart is breaking because he is unhappy, but there's a lesson here for both of us.We both need to learn to stand by what we say. We also need to stop before we act.

I wonder if I break God's heart as often as my children break mine?

I wonder if He cries as many tears over me as I do over them?

I wonder if He questions my love for Him just as I question theirs for me?

I wonder if He wonders if I will ever change/learn/grow up? If He's done the right thing by allowing me to make the choices I do?

I KNOW that God doesn't make mistakes, but a mother's love is the closest thing that compares to God's love so you can't help but think about how His heart aches for us.

So I Write...

One of the things that I have always loved most about blogging was the ability to encourage someone else. That's always been a really big deal to me...to be able to make a difference in someone else's life. But its hard to encourage others when you can't find the strength to encourage yourself.

If you've ever been there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you haven't, then consider yourself fortunate.

That place where you ask why far more than you should. That place where you have more questions than answers. That place where you feel useless & invisible to everyone around you. That place where sleeping brings peace. That place where the darkness finally overtakes the light.

That's not a fun place to be. Many people struggle with depression the majority of their lives & have a hard time admitting it, let alone overcoming it.

For some time now, I have struggled with my role as a wife, a mother, a Christian, & a friend. I have struggled with trust, obedience, joy, & love. I have wondered why we were spinning our wheels in a church that was dead set on standing still. I have wondered if my "wondering" was hindering it even more. We have struggled more financially than we ever have before. I have repeatedly asked the question of going back to work for a few extra dollars, knowing that the majority of it would only cover day care expenses. I have questioned what more could I have done to help my struggling reader. I have found people that I thought I could open up to, only to have them turn their backs on me & my family. I have dealt with enough teen attitude to last me my entire life & that road has only just begun. I have nursed a sick child over & over & over again with the same problems.

And through it all, I have felt utterly A L O N E.

I know that Jesus was carrying me, but I couldn't feel Him. I know that my husband was there beside me, but he was dealing with the same burdens. He didn't need my worries & fears compounding his. I know that I have a few friends I can talk to, but its so hard for me to trust after I have been repeatedly stabbed in the back.

Oh, I talk to people, but 99% of them have only scratched the surface with me. I CAN'T let them in.

So I write. I can spill my heart out here because I'm not confiding in one single person who might lift me up today & tear me down tomorrow. I write, not knowing who exactly reads this & not worrying about what they may think. I write, in the hopes that someone somewhere can identify, can grow from my mistakes, my pain. I write, because its so much easier than talking.

100 Happy Days

Have you seen all of the pictures lately with #100happydays attached to them? 

Yeah, me too. I have been looking at this website for a few days now, thinking about it. 

71% of people that start this challenge do not complete it. Really? 71%? That seems like a lot. 

The main reason stated for giving up on something so simple... Not enough time.

Not enough time?

Have we become so busy that we forget to take the time to be happy? Or are we just too busy to tell people about it?

Wow! 

I know that many times I get so caught up in life that I forget to live! I focus on the  unimportant stuff & I let the junk weigh me down. 

Sometimes the "stuff" is all I can remember. Sometimes the fighting is all I can focus on. Sometimes the bad drowns out the good. Sometimes I forget WHY I'm living this life. 

So, here goes. I am going to make a conscious effort to capture not just one thing each day that makes me happy, but I'm going to try to point out lots of simple things that make me happy. I'm sure that some days I will flood your news feed, while others may not have nearly as many. 

Bare with me! I hope this will be an eye opener for me. I need to be reminded that at one point in time, I was a happier person. Somewhere in time, that person became far too serious. She needs to learn to laugh again.

Why don't you join me?! We all need to remember why this life really is worth living! 

Happy Mother's Day

If you know me, or if you follow my blog, you know that I try to keep it real. My life is not always sunshine & roses. Its not always happy & easy. A lot of times it becomes more than I can bear. BUT, you know that I feel BLESSED beyond measure even in the storms.









I have been struggling with motherhood lately. Let's face it, its not a job for the faint at heart.

Funny thing though, everywhere I turn, I am being reminded that I CAN DO THIS! The women's conference that I attended last weekend refreshed me like nothing I can explain. The book I am reading right now, Rhinestone Jesus, is reminding me how easy it is to get caught up in the day to day without really living. You will see me saying #yesinmymess a lot right now! It also seems that the posts on Facebook are all designed to encourage women, mothers, Christians, people in general, to keep on keeping on.

Makenzie was so excited when she got home from school yesterday. She wanted to give me my Mother's Day present early. It took more than one try to read her sweet little card because I was crying so hard. On a flower she wrote my mom is: kind, loving, funny, happy, joyful, & hopeful. Joyful & hopeful??? Have I been joyful or hopeful lately? It sure doesn't feel like it! Then she said she wanted to be just like me. BAM You couldn't have punched me in the stomach & had any less force that that simple statement. That spunky, tender-hearted little girl who I get so easily frustrated with wants to be just like me. I need to start living like I want her to live! With more laughter, less angry words, more fun, & less demands. Easier said than done, I'm afraid.

Austin walked over to us to read the masterpieces. After he read them, he simply ducked his head & hugged me. He smiled that wicked mischievous grin that he's so famous for & said Happy Mother's Day mom. That may not sound like much, but that was huge coming from a hormonal preteen. So he really surprised me last night when he designed his own card telling me that I was the best momma he could ask for. He even put our pictures on it!


I don't need flowers, chocolate, jewelry, or fancy gifts. Those cards designed from the hearts of my children meant more to me than anything that money could buy. Once again, I am reminded just how blessed I am!