Hello Juvenile Delinquent

I have wrestled with whether or not to post this one. Usually I'm an open book, no holds barred type of person. But this subject, while it could easily happen to any one of you, will probably cause lots of talk. So welcome to another edition of my less than perfect life...

As some of you know, there was an "incident" with Austin earlier this month. Now, my oldest isn't a fighter by nature, but he isn't one to back down either...ever. As we are learning, he can certainly hold his own. Long story short: a friend of Austin's started it, Austin finished it, resulting with the friend needing medical attention & glue.

Its never a good day when the school shows up on my caller id. But what started out as dread, turned into full fledged panic with more questions than answers.

Since there was "serious injury", the county, NOT the school or the other family, HAD to press charges. Because of a situation that started out as nothing more than boys being boys, now both of these 12 year old BOYS were being charged with misdemeanor assault!

Great...now I have a juvenile delinquent. At 16, sure maybe, but 12!!!

After the shock wore off, talking to the other family (who we are also friends with), and getting a few more answers, we were able to try to laugh about the whole incredible ordeal.

Even through the jokes, worry still remained. What would the juvenile protection services say, would there be long term repercussions, counseling, community service, worse?

After 10 L O N G days, we finally had our meeting. Since this was his first offense, all went well & the case was dismissed.

I think part of her job is to scare the pants off of kids.

While talking with this woman, we learned so many shocking things.

Did you know that the school refers every case involving fights, weapons, & drugs? EVERY ONE OF THEM! Including 6 year olds who through something across the room!!!

At any given time, there are 250 children (under 16 - because 16 is legally an adult here in NC) in this county on probation! REALLY??!!??!! Is that necessary?!

It shocks me to think that the school no longer wants any part of trying to help children that truly need help. While our case was nothing in the grand scheme of it all, I just can't imagine what some of these families go through just because the powers that be don't want to deal with it.

If my oldest child, who is not, nor ever has been, a saint, gets into another fight, whether he starts it or just defends himself, (which let's face facts, most boys do fight) he will be right back in that office facing stricter consequences.

Its a sad time we live in folks. Children can no longer be children, they can't try to settle things between themselves, they can no longer take up for themselves, without threats of legal action looming over their heads.

Of yeah, and my juvenile delinquent goes to church, plays football, wrestles, makes good grades, plays guitar, rides dirt bikes, & ties bow-ties just for fun!

So I Write...

One of the things that I have always loved most about blogging was the ability to encourage someone else. That's always been a really big deal to me...to be able to make a difference in someone else's life. But its hard to encourage others when you can't find the strength to encourage yourself.

If you've ever been there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you haven't, then consider yourself fortunate.

That place where you ask why far more than you should. That place where you have more questions than answers. That place where you feel useless & invisible to everyone around you. That place where sleeping brings peace. That place where the darkness finally overtakes the light.

That's not a fun place to be. Many people struggle with depression the majority of their lives & have a hard time admitting it, let alone overcoming it.

For some time now, I have struggled with my role as a wife, a mother, a Christian, & a friend. I have struggled with trust, obedience, joy, & love. I have wondered why we were spinning our wheels in a church that was dead set on standing still. I have wondered if my "wondering" was hindering it even more. We have struggled more financially than we ever have before. I have repeatedly asked the question of going back to work for a few extra dollars, knowing that the majority of it would only cover day care expenses. I have questioned what more could I have done to help my struggling reader. I have found people that I thought I could open up to, only to have them turn their backs on me & my family. I have dealt with enough teen attitude to last me my entire life & that road has only just begun. I have nursed a sick child over & over & over again with the same problems.

And through it all, I have felt utterly A L O N E.

I know that Jesus was carrying me, but I couldn't feel Him. I know that my husband was there beside me, but he was dealing with the same burdens. He didn't need my worries & fears compounding his. I know that I have a few friends I can talk to, but its so hard for me to trust after I have been repeatedly stabbed in the back.

Oh, I talk to people, but 99% of them have only scratched the surface with me. I CAN'T let them in.

So I write. I can spill my heart out here because I'm not confiding in one single person who might lift me up today & tear me down tomorrow. I write, not knowing who exactly reads this & not worrying about what they may think. I write, in the hopes that someone somewhere can identify, can grow from my mistakes, my pain. I write, because its so much easier than talking.

The Best of 2013

It seems like only yesterday that I was writing this post describing 2012, now I'm reviewing 2013.

365 days - It can both seem like forever & can seem like mere moments. Some of those moments can bring a smile to your face, some can make you cringe just thinking about them, & some can change your life forever.

I hope that more moments in 2013 made you smile than cry. I hope that not only has your life been changed for the better, but that you have had a part in changing someone else's life as well.

Join me in reminiscing on a few favorites from the past year. If you have one that stands out, please let me know!

• God is still saving sinners
• Dr Seuss is the greatest
• "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11
• My husband is my best friend.
• We all need a vision
• Austin returns to public school
• My children teach me more than I teach them
• Makenzie returns to public school
• And God uses little ones too
• Occasionally I can cook
• Is holding your breath really necessary
• You are my hero
• Surely 490 isn't the magic number
• I fully believe that God dropped Plexus in my lap at JUST the right moment!
• Are you a good follower
• Bad news isn't always as bad as it seems
• Our beach vacation
• Never a dull moment
• One proud momma
• The curriculum that isn't being used
• Logan's birthday party
• We are only human
• Show them you love them 

As you can see, I had a hard time narrowing it down this year!

I thank God for a happy 2013 & I look forward to an even better 2014!

But I'm a Preacher's Wive

I recently had a run in with someone who had some pretty nasty things to say about me. It's not the first time someone has talked about me & I'm sure it won't be the last time.

I normally don't pay much attention to what people say or think about me. Most of the time, there isn't a whole lot of truth to their ramblings anyway.

But this girl really bothered me. Sad part is, I don't really know her & she sure doesn't know me, so why should it even matter.

This person attacked my faith, that's why. She told me I was a poor excuse for a preacher's wife. She told me that my husband was leading people to Hell if he was anything like me. She had plenty of negative things to say about my life.

I know that she was just lashing out. And I am certainly not the first to be the recipient of her anger. I'm not sure if it was jealousy or just pure meanness. It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that I know the truth, God knows the truth, & my loved ones know the truth.

In light of that recent confrontation, I would like to help you understand a preacher's family a little bit more.

My husband has been called of God to preach the holy word. He has been called to lead a congregation of followers. 

That doesn't make him perfect. That doesn't mean he never makes mistakes. That doesn't give him permission to whip anyone while he stands holier than thou.

That does mean he deserves respect. It does mean that he has to examine his own life before he preaches a message to help clean up someone else's. It does mean that his life isn't nearly as private as yours might be.

It also means that sometimes he has to tell you things he doesn't feel comfortable saying when he finds out your private sins. It also means that sometimes he spends more time away from his family than with it. It means that his heart is always burdened down over your needs even when he has his own problems to worry about. 

Being a preacher's wife doesn't mean that I wear dresses all the time. It doesn't mean that my life is always sunshine and rainbows. It doesn't mean that my house is spotless.

It doesn't mean that I am perfect. It doesn't mean I believe I am better than you. 

It does mean that I reverence my husband & God's house. It does mean that I try to teach my kids about God. It does mean that you are welcome at our house even with all of its clutter & sticky floors.

It does mean that I mess up daily. It does mean that I still sin. It means I lose my temper just like you do, but most of the time, nobody sees when you get aggravated.

It also means that if I act a little stand offish, it's not because I don't like you. It's because I'm scared of getting close to someone who could turn on me & my family in a heartbeat. It means that even though I am praying for you, I need you to pray for me as well.

Being a preacher's kid isn't the easiest job either. Again, it doesn't mean they are perfect. It doesn't mean they love going to church all the time. It doesn't mean they always choose God.

Being a preacher's kid means they are still a kid. It means they WILL mess up because we are all still human. We are all still growing & learning.

Being a preacher's kid also means that more likely than not, they will rebel from what they have been taught all of their lives. It means they have to learn on their own the lessons we are trying to teach them. It also means that people are much quicker to point out their faults & failures even though their children are doing the very same thing.

So you see, being a part of a preacher's family doesn't make us any better than you, but being a Christian does make us forgiven. Being in a preacher's family doesn't mean that we mess up more or less than your family does. It means that more people are watching our lives and looking for those mistakes.

Being part of a preacher's family really doesn't make us any more or less special, any more or less different, any more or less dysfunctional, any more or less stressed than your family. Being a part of a preacher's family just means we are who God designed us to be.

Now that you know we aren't that different, take a few minutes to pray for our family & for your own preacher's family the next time you feel we don't meet your expectations. Remember God isn't done with us yet!