Use Me!

***** This really should have been written last week, so let's pretend it was! ;) *****

We have had a couple of rough weeks here on the Bauguess Hill. Just different things have seemed to be going "wrong" left & right. Through it all, I haven't understood much. but my prayer has been "God, just use us for your Glory."

Don't ask God for to use you if you are not ready.....

I was asked to sing at church the Sunday morning that Logan was dedicated. I hadn't sung in a while & I hadn't been practicing, so I was no where near ready. Plus, I was hurt angry that my mom chose not to come to the dedication &, like I said, it hadn't been the greatest around here the past few days, so I said that I couldn't do it.  I immediately felt bad & remembered my request for God to use me, so I knew I had to sing. I cried through most of the song, but that's ok. Thank you God for using me.

Then, we found out Justin was preaching Youth Sunday. Thank you God for using him.

We have had a burden for the youth for some time - I guess that's why we are the Youth Directors, huh. One family in particular I haven't been able to get off my mind, but didn't really understand why. When we decided to take it upon ourselves to start picking up these children for church, it sunk in. Even though this meant that Justin & I needed to drive separately every time to church, & he got to drive my (precious & extremely convenient) Suburban in order to fit 5 extra kids, & who knows how much gas this was using (driving from Elkin to Rock Creek), we believed this to be God's will.

The earthly costs of bringing those children to church will never compare to the Heavenly rewards!

THANK YOU GOD FOR USING US!

A Little More Milk Please

 If you are not a mother or are not passionate about nursing your babies, then you probably won't understand my heartbreak or the determination behind these decisions.

I breastfed Austin & Makenzie both, but not for long. When Austin was born, I was young & unsure of a lot of things. I was also very timid about breastfeeding him around other people. So instead of leaving the room, using a blanket, or finding some other way to nurse him, I would just give him a bottle. I didn't seek advice or encouragement. No one told me that babies usually had a growth spurt when they are about 3 weeks old. So when he started wanting to eat all the time, I thought that I was starving him. I gave up shortly after that.

Then, when I had Makenzie, I made another attempt at providing the best nutrition for my child. I was a little older & a little more secure with who I was, so I made more of an effort to nurse her. We made lots of trips to public bathrooms or back out to the car. This worked fine....until I had to return to work. My office was, um, lukewarm about accommodating my need to pump, to say the least. My continued desire to breastfed was also hindered by the fact that my beautiful little daughter passed her thrush infection on to me. OUCH! So this time, we made it for 3 or 4 months.

When I got pregnant with Logan, I was so excited about the fact that I would have another opportunity at nursing. This time, I wouldn't have to worry about daycare or returning to work. I could just take my time with him & feed him however I chose. I am much more confident in my values, needs, & desires, not only when it comes to his nutrition, but also in every aspect concerning my children. I knew that I wanted to breastfed my baby for a full year. I had no desire at all to introduce a bottle anytime soon.

Well, we made it through that infamous growth spurt. I have also made HUGE progress with the fact that I have nursed Logan in public - not a bathroom (covered up, of course). I have also been able to feed him while walking around & shopping. That was no easy task let me assure you, but I was ecstatic about being able to accomplish this!

Unfortunately, we hit a snag. After a few weeks dealing with acid reflux, an upset tummy, constant crying spells, & too many evenings with a need to eat every hour on the hour, I am exhausted. I don't get nearly as much milk when I pump anymore & I feel like Logan is always hungry.

I finally broke down & gave him a bottle. And I cried the whole time he was eating. I feel like I have failed at the most primal level of motherhood. I don't understand why I can't satisfy this basic need.

I am no where near ready to give up, but I never dreamed I would be facing this decision so soon with him. I am hoping that my decreased milk supply is due to my iron level being too low, too many Mt. Dews, & not enough water. If that's the case, then this should be an easy fix.

What Does Your Ceiling Look Like?

I've been missing the "big picture" here lately. I have been so completely consumed with trying just to make it through each day since Logan has been born, that I literally have missed a lot of the summer. We are just as busy as ever, but I haven't had the time (or the frame of mind) to enjoy it.

It seems that somewhere along the lines, I may have "spoiled" my baby - yeah, as if that's possible!!! LOL Either that, or I have a very dependent child on my hands. I'm not sure which. But unfortunately, my 3rd child has been my neediest - by far. So blame it on the fact that I am home with this one (& haven't been with the others) or blame it on the fact that he has 2 adoring siblings that love to hold him as well. Either way, he doesn't like to be put down.

Now that's all fine & dandy to the outsider, & I do LOVE my snuggle time, but it has huge disadvantages as well.  Like.... my house, my laundry, my garden & my canning (which is non existent this year!).

So, what does this have to do with my ceiling? Nope, I'm not one of those freaks that cleans the ceiling! But it seems that my ceiling has gotten cluttered. How, you ask, well.......

In the midst of this beautiful but slightly stressful time, I find myself revolving around Logan's schedule - of course. The up side, its ok, we are flexible. The down side, I find myself neglecting to eat breakfast because there usually isn't time, a lot of times I eat lunch standing in the kitchen, & I have literally cooked supper less than a handful of times. This has also led to my failing to earnestly pray about anything - if I close my eyes, I fall a sleep. And reading my Bible has become a thing of the past.

Well, I realized something the other day. My prayers weren't getting any farther than my ceiling. I have just been going through the motions & feeling worse about it everyday.

When I made time that day to open my Bible, Jeremiah 29:13 almost jumped off the page for me.


"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

Thank you Lord for once again redirecting me when I get sidetracked.

A Strange Chain of Events

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. So many times, we cannot see the whole picture so we do not understand God's plan. This can be very discouraging when we think we are facing bigger obstacles than we can handle. But, God has a reason for the trials that we all go through.

Darius Rucker's song This is a perfect example of things that have worked out & things that didn't go the way we think they should.

All the fights and the tears and the heartache
I thought I'd never get through

And the moment I almost gave up

All led me here to you

I didn't understand it way back when

But sittin' here right now

It all makes perfect sense.

A friend made a comment last night that got me to thinking about things & the way they play out.

Yes, there are plenty of things that have happened in my life that I'm not proud of, but those things have made me who I am today. And even though we don't usually think about how our decisions affect other people, so often everything we do is just one small peice of the puzzle. Our actions affect everyone around us, even the people we haven't met yet.

So the next time you find yourself in yet another messed up situation, stop & think of all the people around you that may possibly be influenced by your reaction. After all, we are all put into the pot of boiling water at some point in time. Are we like the carrot where we start out hard, but become soft under pressure? What about the egg who is very fragile until time & circumstance makes it hard? Or will we be like a handful of coffee beans & allow ourselves to be changed each time the need arises?

One of my desires for this crazy ride we call life is for God to use me however He sees fit. If that means using my mistakes to improve someone else's life, then so be it. I give God the glory & I hope that He will lead down a path that doesn't have quite so many valleys!

If I can be of any help to anyone, please let me know!

Tales of a Homeschool Nothing ~ What was I Thinking?!?

OK, we all know how insane I am - but seriously ....... my lack of planning has really showed up here lately!

Everyone warned me that it would take until about January or February before I would "get comfortable" with homeschool. That was about right. We had a decent schedule, had gotten rid of some things that were not working & tweaked some things to make them work better. I think we were all pretty content.

Well, you know me....... (da da da dum) SUPER MOM

I decided to try a new curriculum this year. No big deal, but Konos is completely different from what we were doing. I feel really good about it & the kids seem excited, so thats a plus!

As if starting something new isn't scary enough, not only am I teaching Austin (4th grade), but I'm also officially teaching Makenzie kindergarten this year as well! YIKES! I just dabbled with her last year because she was in PreK part of the time.

Justin & I are also leading the local Contenders of the Faith group for the first time as well. There are a lot of young gentlemen that will be looking to us for guidance! Justin helped quit a bit last year, but this year, its all us! AAHHHH!

Then, there's our "usual" responsibilities - summer movies, library reading programs, church, youth activities, various sporting events, boy scouts, etc. Have you seen my planner ..... LOL

And last but certainly not least - I have this adorable new little boy that demands all of my attention!

Oh well, who ever said my life was boring or predictable? What fun would that be?!

Where is Your Crown?

I just realized something tonight...all Christians are saved, but everyone that is saved is not a Christian. On top of that, Christians go to church, but some people that are saved do not attend church.

If you are anything like me, you are going to have to stop & ponder on this for a while. As I was thinking about it, the realization really hit home & brought tears to my eyes.

So many people that claim to be saved have a ... lazy, at best, attitude towards their salvation. There is no desire to get involved in church. Some are content with Sunday morning worship, some do not attend at all. They never have anything "spiritual" to talk about - meaning they don't want to talk about their blessings or the Bible or anything remotely dealing with God. They don't live their lives as a witness or care if anyone gets saved.

Thankfully, there are not many "qualifications" to become saved. We just have to believe! So anyone & everyone can become saved. To be a Christian is a little more difficult. We must be Christ like. Even though we will never be like Jesus, we must at least TRY!

One of our goals here on earth is to earn crowns to lay at the feet of Jesus. Its very sad to think that some people will enter Heaven empty handed.

I wonder, from time to time, if I have earned any crowns. I don't think that anything I have done is spectacular or anything, but I hope that some of my labor and struggles will be worth something in the eyes of my saviour. Even if I feel like so often my crowns have been beaten, banged up, or tarnished, I still want something to give to Jesus. I know He can make masterpieces out of the rubble that I stand in the middle of.

I think we all need to spend a little more time polishing our crowns. After all, Jesus deserves our very best!

Super Mom

I seem to have this really bad habit.....for some crazy reason, I think I can do it all...& everyone else seems to think so as well.

The many hats of a mother:
Homeschool Teacher...check

Principle...check

Coach...check

Nurse...check

Doctor...check

Pharmacist...check

Referee...check

Cheerleader...check

Biggest Fan...check

Toughest Critic...check
Disciplinary...check
Police Officer...check

Lawyer...check

Judge...check

Jury...check
Executioner...well, I think about it! LOL
Taxi Driver...check
Short Order Cook...check
Maid...check
Nanny...check
ATM...check

Activity Director...check

Tour Guide...check
Prayer Warrior...check

The many hats of a wife:
Preacher's Wife...check
Fireman's Wife...check
First Responder's Wife...check
Paramedic's Wife...its coming!
Eagle Scout's Wife...check
Secretary...check
Accountant...check
Prayer Warrior...check

My various other hats:
Youth Leader...check
Bible Reader...check

Singer...check

Blogger...check
Photographer...check
Interior Designer...check
Veternarian...check

Scrapbooker...check

Twilight lover...CHECK!!!

Vin Diesel Stalker, I mean fan...CHECK, CHECK, & RECHECK!!!

Prayer Warrior...check

I'm so very sure that there are LOTS of hats I'm forgetting!

By day......da da da dum....SUPER MOM! By night......I hang up my cape & pass out! I'm tired!