Friday, December 21, 2012
Whose Dream is This?
Well, let me just say that priorities change drastically the older you get & whoever thinks that God doesn't have a sense of humor, needs to think again.
So here I am. I no longer dream of fame, fortune, or big city living. I still have big dreams, but now they revolve around my husband, my kids, my farm, & God's will.
Does that mean that every day is sunshine & roses?
Sweetheart, you obviously don't know me if you think my life is that grand!
We struggle. We fuss. We fight. We worry. We cry. We battle periods of attitude, guilt, rage, selfishness, & depression. But we also laugh, smile, love, & praise.
Somedays I wonder if this is really what my life is meant to be. I mean really. How am I supposed to cook, clean, teach, play, do laundry, balance the checkbook, run an at home business, spend time with my husband, explore my own interests, not neglect my friends, & find time for God? HOW? There are not enough hours in the day!
Day in, day out brings the same story again. Wake husband up before the sun even considers rising, fall back asleep. Wake up to the baby crying, begging PLEASE go back to sleep, it's still dark. Throw clothes on because even if the baby did go back to sleep, I'm wide awake. Play on Internet a few quite minutes. Try to wake kids up, occasionally resulting to anger when they don't listen. Face the breakfast dilemma again. Battle through school with cries of "I don't know how to do this" "I don't want to do this" & "I need your help". Get a few chores done during baby's nap, only to have him make a bigger mess when he wakes up. Lunch. A little more school followed quickly by "Please go outside & leave me alone". Maybe get in a little exercise while the baby lays down again & then if I'm lucky a shower as well. Hubby's home but he has a ton of stuff to do as well. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Oh crap, I have no idea! Hmmmmm, maybe I can find something the kids will actually eat. Bathtime & finally bedtime. I feel like I'm stuck in a Suburbia version of Groundhog's Day.
Does this mean that I wish I could swap lives with someone else for a few days?
Does this mean I fantasize about a deserted tropical island where children are not allowed?
Does this mean that I need to be more thankful for the season I'm in right now because time passes far too quickly?
Do you ever wonder what in the world you were thinking when you signed on for this whole motherhood thing?
Sister, you are not alone. But remember, you are BLESSED!
Keep on, keeping on!
Sometimes we just need reminding that "For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." & "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"
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