To Know That I Know That I Know

I just love those spirit filled services. You know, the ones with singing, crying, testifying, & the Holy Spirit moving. I love to hear how the Lord is working in other people's lives. I love to tell people how God is working in my life. But, I usually claim up when it comes to my personal testimony.

I know that most people love to tell how God changed their life, how Jesus saved them. I know that a lot of people can take you back to a day, a time, a place where their life changed forever.

I can't do that & it bothers me!

I have a date that I cling to. I know that I was on the altar March 29, 1992 (the day before I turned 14). It was one of "those services". Fellman Cheek was especially long winded & it was pushing on towards 1pm.

But I also know that I made professions both before & after this time. The first was at a Bailey Smith Crusade on a Tuesday night when I was about 8. I can even see the shirt I was wearing! My mom made her way to the make shift altar the very next night.

Another significant date that stands out was the night before Halloween 1998. Justin & I went with some friends to visit The House of Judgement in Elkin & I just didn't know anymore.

Most of my life, I have questioned my salvation. Not too long ago, I called my pastor in tears. After a heart wrenching conversation, he told me that deep down, no matter the doubts, I knew the answer.

I have times where I "feel" alone. I "feel" confused. I don't read my Bible like I should. I don't pray like I should. I don't witness like I should. I don't "feel" like a very good Christian.

Then I have times where I "feel" joy. I "feel" peace. I enjoy reading my Bible. I look forward to church. I stay in a state of prayer. I "feel" like God is pleased with me.

There are times that I "feel" sad when others talking about knowing exactly when they gave their lives to Jesus. But then I realized that its ok that I don't know when. The devil wants me to doubt. He knows that when I doubt, I'm not feeling confident in my Christian life. And when I am not confident, then I don't work nearly as hard. He has me right where he wants me.

I have prayed for assurance. I have prayed for God to reveal the exact date for me so I wouldn't doubt anymore. Then God brought a thought by me. Paul talked about a thorn in his flesh. He begged God to remove it from him.

2 Corinthians 12:5 Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities.

6 For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me.

7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Maybe, just maybe, this is my thorn. Maybe, just maybe, THIS is my testimony for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, I can help someone else on their journey through their doubts & mine.

I'm thankful that we aren't saved on "feelings". We are saved by faith through grace!

Romans 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Psalm 51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Stand strong weary Christian. Don't give the devil this victory. Take comfort in KNOWING that God's promises are true! If He promised to save us, He will! 

The Church of Tomorrow...

Yesterday was youth Sunday at church. I'm not sure how long this has been going on, when this tradition got started, or even how widely it is practiced. But since I was a little girl, the youth of the church take over leadership positions every 5th Sunday. This not only teaches our kids the need for serving God, but it also helps them with public speaking.

Our youth is often called "the church of tomorrow". Yes, that may be so, but they are also the church of today. The lessons they are taught & the leaders that they follow, will have a huge impact on their lives down the road.

My favorite preacher (next to my husband, of course) made a special  appearance today. My pastor for the majority of my life, Felman Cheek was our "young" preacher today. After many years of being a pastor and running revivals, he admitted to getting more calls now than ever to preach to the youth.

God isn't through with him yet. There aren't many men like pastor Felman left. Too many preachers and Christians today are wishy washy & don't take a stand for what they believe in. They are more interested in gaining friends and making everyone feel good.

Our youth NEED to hear the truth! They NEED to be taught that the God we serve is not old fashion! The God we serve is still very much alive!

If the leaders of today are not doing that, WHERE does that leave the children of tomorrow?!?!

A Different New Year's Party

Last night, I had the privilege to ring in another new year with the ones I love.

We didn't travel all the way to New York (although I really want to do that one year). We didn't spend most of the night forgetting & most of the morning regretting due to large alcohol contents. We didn't sit on the couch trying our best to stay awake long enough to see the shiny ball drop.

This year, like the past few years, my family has been in church! We spent the night filled with preaching, praying, praising, singing, fellowship, & food.

We started our service with more than 75 people worshipping the Lord around 8pm & finished out in the altar with 40 dedicated souls after 1:30am.

I am still a little tired, but I am so blessed!

psst.....guess what? Fellman was one of our preachers!!

A Living Legend

It is with a heavy heart & mixed feelings that I share the announcement that my pastor Fellman Cheek has chosen to resign as undershepherd of our church. We only have a few more weeks to glean as much knowledge & insight as we can from him. He will be leaving at the end of August.

Fellman is no longer a young man & he has been plagued with many hardships & heartbreaks. His health no longer allows him to preach the way he used to. It has also become harder for him to oversee other duties that most pastors willingly handle. His heart is there, but his body cannot accommodate all of the demands any more.

We have all seen it coming & even I have said that he needs to slow down.

The only thing that truly concerns me is the fact that he has always said he wants to die behind the pulpit, and if he ever got to the point where he could no longer preach, he wished that God would take him home. Knowing this about him, it makes me question if he will give up the fight.

I have had the honor of calling him my pastor since I was 10 years old. Even when I wasn't sitting directly under his leadership, he was still my pastor. My children have had the privilege to grow up listening to this man of God. All 3 of them have been dedicated back to God by him.

He has lived a long, fulfilling life. He has loved & lost. He has a wife waiting for him in Heaven & he has a wife here that is as devoted to him as anyone could ask. Children, Grandchildren, & even Great Grandchildren have seen him at his best & surely at his worst. He has lead many people to the Lord & he has encouraged, influenced, & helped countless more. Surely when it is his time to cross Jordan, he will be welcomed with open arms & huge smile.


He has filled his position well. He has been a great example. And his legend will live on.

Strength in Weakness

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

God has a purpose for each one of our lives. We may not fully understand everything we go through, but there is a reason for everything.
 
It's hard to keep this in perspective when we experience pain or tragedy. We sometimes wonder why things happen or how much more can one take.
 
My dear pastor Fellman Cheek just underwent open heart surgery. He had complications & still isn't back up to speed, but he is on the mend & he is still giving God the glory!

His precious wife Donna has stood by his side the whole time. She has been just as vigilant in watching over him as an eagle would over its young. She refuses to leave him or to take anytime for herself.

Unfortunately, they just found out that Donna's bladder cancer is back & she will have to have surgery soon to remove several tumors.

Yet again, it makes you wonder. Why them? Why now? They have just started out of one valley & now they are facing another one.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,

to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Continue to pray for Fellman & Donna! They need all the support they can get.

I Cheated

Yes, that's right! You are looking at (lol) someone who has never liked to play by the rules!

My dear pastor's wife requested that no one come visit him so he could rest before the surgery & a couple of weeks after the surgery. I understand her concern for his well being, but Justin & I both felt that we NEEDED to go. Plus when Justin talked to Fellman last night, he told us to come see him, so how could we resist!

We TRIED to make it short, really we did, but anyone who has ever visited with Fellman Cheek knows that you could talk to that man FOREVER & not even realize how much time had passed.

I'm glad we went. I took the time to tell Fellman just how much I love & appreciate him & what he has been in my life, the influence he has had on me, & the joy I get just knowing my kids get to sit under him. All of this was said, barely audible & through tears, of course. If you know Fellman, you know his response ..... picture it with me ..... "To God be the Glory!".

I feel at peace now. I have faith that God's hand will be on the surgeons & will guide them. I believe that no matter what His will is being carried out even as I write.

It was a sweet time of fellowship & I will always treasure the time I got to spend with him.

PLEASE keep praying for him. They are starting the surgery around 8am in the morning.

Thank You for Giving to the Lord

My heart is heavy, my mind is full, & my eyes are swollen.

As I sit staring out at this Super Moon, I can't help but think about how awesome our God is, how perfect His will is, how much He loves us, & how I don't understand any of!

I have an urgent prayer request. The man that has been my pastor the majority of my life is facing a 5 way bypass on Monday morning. The majority of his arteries are at least 90% blocked. The electrical system in his heart is not working properly. The Drs must take his heart out of his body in order to repair it.

I know that drs are very smart people & they can do amazing things, but without God intervening, drs are useless. And the best drs know this.

Fellman Cheek is the ONLY man I have ever met who could whip you from the pulpit just like he knew exactly every sin you had ever commuted & then tell you he loved you & YOU KNEW IT! He is the most Godly man I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

He has had a long life. I know he isn't perfect, but I believe that he has lived his life as best he could serving God. I believe that God will welcome him into His arms & say "Well done, thou good and faithful servant". I believe that he will have numerous crowns to lay at Jesus' feet. I believe that many people will come to him signing "Thank you for giving to the Lord".

I can't help but be a little jealous of Fellman, knowing that if something goes wrong according to man's plan, God's plan will be fulfilled & he will be shouting in Heaven. But I am also very selfish. I'M NOT READY for him to leave this world. I'M NOT READY for him to no longer be my pastor. I'M NOT READY for another saint to gain their wings.

Who will help us teach our children? Who will minister to me? Who will be bold enough to stand up to a lost & dying world? Who will have compassion enough to tell them about the Lord?

The Feet of the Servant

Throughout our lives, we are continually learning from our surroundings, our situations, & other people. Sometimes we are willing to learn while at others we are not so eager. Still there are other times when we learn without even realizing it - these are usually my favorite because the "lesson" tends to stick with you longer.

Yesterday was Easter. We had an early morning SONrise service followed by breakfast at the fellowship hall. Then we had preaching and communion service. Well, we had a little extra time between eating breakfast & the start of preaching, so all the kids took off to play. When it was almost time for church to start up again, Justin went looking for Makenzie.

She wasn't hard to find. She was playing in the nursery, which wasn't uncommon, but that's not all of the story. What really stood out to me was the fact that not only was she playing quietly in the floor, but she was playing at the feet of our pastor as he studied for the upcoming message. Oh, how I wish I could have gotten a picture of that!!!

This scene caused a flood of emotions within me. First, I am so thankful that my children have the privilege to sit & learn under the same man of God that I learned from as a child. Secondly, how often do we take for granted & ignore those precious grey haired saints that are more than willing to teach us something? Third, how similar is this to the reality of one day sitting at the feet of Jesus?

I have had the honor of having Fellman Cheek as my pastor for the majority of my life. No, I haven't always enjoyed some of his preaching, especially when I was a teenager. As I have gotten older, I've realized that everything he has ever said has been in love. I have learned so much under his preaching & teaching. And personally, I have never met any person closer to God than he is. I don't say that to lift him up on a pedestal, but I say it to give God the glory through Fellman's life.

When I was younger, I thought I knew it all. I had all the answers & could handle anything that came my way. Boy, did I have a lot to learn! As I have gotten older, I have realized just how little I really know or understand. I wish that I would have taken more time to listen to those around me that are visibly older & certainly wiser than I could ever hope to be. If you still have the honor of a grandparent that is still alive - take the time to get to know them. I mean, REALLY get to know them. They have a lot to say if only someone is willing to listen.

We are all the children of God. As we become saved & trust Him with our lives, He longs for us to sit at His feet while He teaches us. God loves us more than we could ever imagine & He wants to give us our hearts desire. We just have to be willing to turn to Him.

When was the last time that you realized you didn't have all the answers? When was the last time you took the time to listen to someone wiser than you? What about the last time that you sat content at the feet of a true servant of God? When was the last time you were willing to sit at the Master's feet?