I feel a little better about the situation, but somehow, guilt still overcomes me. I'm having a hard time knowing that I have done everything that I can do to help her. I'm having a hard time knowing that somehow I haven't failed her. I'm having a hard time letting go & letting God.
Last night, I was talking to a friend about all kinds of things in general, silly things, concerns in her life, issues in mine, who really is suffering from our selfish government, etc. Neither one of us could understand why some things were happening. We were looking for that bright neon sign from God that says "This is it. This is why. This is your purpose. This is your way." I simply told her that maybe God was teaching her grace........
It didn't hit me until just a little while ago as I was trying to get Makenzie to focus & trying to get Logan to leave her alone, that maybe my friend wasn't the only one who needed to learn a lesson in grace. I had an hour long conversation last night after a crazy hectic day while trying to eat a late supper, settle babies down for the night, right the world of all its wrongs, understand injustice, laugh, cry, offer advice & prayers just to realize that God was trying to show me that big flashing neon sign.
I'm thankful for God's grace even when I'm sure He is aggravated with repeatedly telling me something. I'm thankful for God's grace even when I'm sure He is thinking "will she ever get it". I'm thankful for God's grace even as I don't show grace like I should. I'm thankful for God's grace even when I don't deserve it.